


an eye for an eye

by thesevnthsense



Series: a body for a body [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Broken Bones, Broken Families, Childhood Trauma, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drug Use, Drugs, Fake Attraction, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Issues, Fights, Gang Violence, Gaslighting, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, I Have No Idea How Any Of This Works IRL So, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Knives, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Mild Smut, Multi, Murder, OCD, One-Sided Attraction, Overdosing, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Police, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Rating: NC17, Revenge, Sex Work, Social Anxiety, Soft Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Stabbing, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Probably Inaccurate, To Be Edited, Torture, Trauma, Triggers, Unrequited Crush, Victim Blaming, Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 31,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26498890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesevnthsense/pseuds/thesevnthsense
Summary: “The Neighbourhood… isn’t a place… it means family… and family leaves no one behind...”“Unless, of course, someone doesn’t want to follow the rules… would be such a shame to have someone go missing, huh?”
Relationships: Kim Jungwoo/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Kim Jungwoo/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Moon Taeil, Kim Jungwoo/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: a body for a body [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014993
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please be aware as you read this, there are many topics that may be rather sensitive or triggering in some cases, including, but not exclusive to: murder, suicide, drug usage, alcohol usage, rape, abuse, kidnapping, weapons of various sorts, familial trauma, torture, and corrupt police. if you are worried about triggers, but do not see one in the list above that may be a potential trigger, please don't hesitate to look through the tags, everything that should be a problem is listed there.

Jungwoo's apartment and the entire area around it always smelt stale for one reason or another. It had been that way since the moment he stepped foot onto the complex. Some things, no matter how much time passed, never changed. It was in one way or another comforting. 

The cavern was usually bustling with people on Saturday nights, but he knew he wouldn't be able to find himself out there until he had at least managed to clean himself up some. He had spent the past few days recovering and dealing with debriefing himself. Usually, he would have someone else around to help with that task, but he didn't feel like being around anyone. He hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep, and hadn't showered in probably a couple days. He was worried Taeyong would get angry at him for taking too much time, and he didn't ever want to see Taeyong angry again. He saw it once, and that was more than enough for him. 

Inherently, weekends tended to have more people around, and that tended to be a good thing for most of the people who lived around complex, but somehow, Jungwoo felt more alone the more people were there. He had many, many opportunities to go out and try things that most people in the world would never be able to do, but he didn't want to do any of those things lately. He envied the people he worked with who didn't need as much recuperation time. He felt like a nuisance. 

A sudden, hard knock on the door broke him from his restless thoughts, and he looked up from the space of empty blankets in front of him, to the door.

"Hey Dipshit! What's up? You haven't left your room in three days! You know, there are other people out there who wouldn't mind jerking you off, you don't have to be so greedy!" Jungwoo knew the moment he heard that voice that it had to be Haechan. No one else spoke to him like that.

Haechan slowly opened the door, as if for some reason he had expected to see him in bed nude or something like that, but once he gave himself an 'all clear' of sorts, he walked in. Both of his hands were still bandaged up from a couple nights prior, and they looked a little dirty. That was why he was there: to get his wounds cleaned and a fresh set of bandages. 

Haechan was an odd guy, at least in Jungwoo's eyes. By then him and Jungwoo were extremely close, like brothers, and whenever he came around, Jungwoo was silently glad he did, even if sometimes it annoyed him. 

He had a line of roses tattooed along the right side of his neck for as long as Jungwoo had known him. If he wasn't so incredibly close to him, Jungwoo may have found that aspect about him attractive. 

He also had this strange ability to charm anyone he wanted to. Considering that that was the main premise of Jungwoo's work, he envied that natural sense of charisma sometimes. Sometimes he figured Haechan should take over his job, like a trade.

As much of an idiot as Haechan was, Jungwoo always found a soft spot in his heart for him. But he wasn't sure that anyone who had met him could say they didn't; Haechan was just like that with people. Though, sometimes he came across a little too carefree and dismissive to serious situations, Jungwo knew he meant no harm. He could usually pick up what he meant. 

"Plus uh... Johnny's been a little worried," Haechan finished, and Jungwoo somehow managed a chuckle as he laid back onto the bed. This time, the mattress felt like it had a bit more give than the last time he had laid down.

Jungwoo wasn't sure how him and Haechan had ever gotten as close as they were. The two of them were alike, he supposed, but Jungwoo knew he was a few years older than him. He never asked how many, he just knew that Haechan functioned as a true Amarantus. 

Everyone, as a part of The Neighbourhood, functioned as a part of a class. Some had two, like Jungwoo. He had never heard of anyone having three. Each class' name had its own Greek meaning and crest, and Jungwoo knew about them all. 

Those who functioned in Class One were deemed Ari. Meaning 'most,' they were the highest ranking individuals. They functioned as leaders, and high-scale decision makers and planners. They spoke on behalf of the gang as a whole, and as much as they could, they remained professional, confident, and secretive, at least, all except Johnny. He was a bit of a wild-child.

Those who functioned in Class Two were deemed Alke. Meaning 'eagle,' most functioned as overseers of the everyday world. They played everyday roles in society, such as police officers, students, medics, or white-collar workers. They helped keep a steady reputation among society and brought in extra money when other profits were low. They were fantabulous liars, and they worked to keep the group hushed as hard as they could. 

Those who functioned in Class Three were deemed Aetos. Meaning 'strength', they were tasked with the most difficult and dirty of the jobs on complex, including but not exclusive to kidnapping, the holding and interrogation of hostages, torture, and murder. There were very few under the label.

And those who functioned in Class Four were deemed Amarantus. Meaning 'unfading," deriving from the amaranth flower, the category was usually reserved for the newer members. Since often times they were young and energetic kids off the streets or fresh out of high school, they were dubbed the name due to the unfading nature of their youth. They mainly functioned as drug runners, pushers, and thieves, and tended to stick to those types of minor crime. Despite their age and lack of experience, they were rarely looked down upon. Very few stayed a part of the class though, as more often than not they moved up into other ones as they grew up. It was almost like a coming of age ceremony, in a strange way. Some even showed signs for placement the moment they stepped onto complex grounds. 

Jungwoo was the only one to have stayed an Amarantus for longer than his first couple years. He had been a part of TN for three years as of then, and he functioned mainly as an Alke, but Taeyong thought he retained the spirit of an Amarantus for long enough to keep the title for the time being. 

Against what felt like his better judgement, Jungwoo turned his phone off and forced himself out of bed. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, instantly cringing at how awful he looked. His eyes were closer than not to bloodshot and his hair was a disaster, but it made sense since he hadn't slept much the previous two or three nights. He was almost sorry Haechan had to see him that way. 

"Give me a couple minutes, okay? I look gross," Jungwoo admitted, he hoped rather honestly. 

"Yeah, you kinda do," Haechan jokingly agreed, followed by a playful elbow to Jungwoo's side. He combed his hair back with his fingers, though it was pointless, as it just flopped right back where it was before. Nothing was going to change his appearance but a hot shower. 

"I'm gonna shower real quick," Jungwoo stated, and Haechan gave him a nod instead of a worded response. He fell down onto the bed, laying horizontally over the blankets before pulling them on top of him. It was cold out, Jungwoo assumed. "You may uh... not wanna do that. Those aren't the cleanest." Haechan made a noise of disgust, but Jungwoo ignored it mostly as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

It still smelt like blood in there: gross, sticky and metallic, and it made him want to gag as the events of nights prior played over in his head like a movie. Another shower would clear it out, he hoped. if not, he'd have to clean everything with bleach again, and that wasn't how he wanted to spend his day. 

He turned on the water to let it heat up before he undressed, all while the air slowly got harder to breathe in. The humidity was a lot to take in after being in a room kept too cool for such a period of time. Each piece of clothing fell to the floor in a small pile, which he kicked to the side to pick up when he decided to wash his sheets. 

He took one more look at himself in the mirror before he got into the shower. This mirror was cracked in a couple places, and missing a couple shards in others, but he was still able to make out his reflection. 

After a few moments of staring, he turned away from the broken glass and stepped into the water. Once he was able to get past the smell, if he ever did, the heat felt good on his body, sore as it had ever been. It was relaxing in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to describe something relaxing, but Haechan's groans from outside brought him back to reality whenever he needed it. He was probably pretty sore too. 

Jungwoo turned the shower off and stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. The main part of Jungwoo's room was easier to breathe deeply in. Haechan was unsurprisingly still where he was before, the blankets messily tucked under him so he wasn't covered up. He stared up at the ceiling. 

"Need new bandages?" Jungwoo asked him, searching through his dresser drawers for something to wear that he wouldn't be cold in. It was supposed to snow soon, and he wasn't willing to take many chances on getting sick. He used to find the snow exciting, but not anymore. 

Haechan never directly responded, just sat up and held out his hands and Jungwoo put on pants so he could towel dry his hair. It was nothing Haechan hadn't seen before, they changed in front of each other pretty often at that point. 

Jungwoo walked over to the small box of first aid supplies Lucas had given him and grabbed in. There wasn't too much left, not nearly enough for another incident to be fully dealt with. 

Carefully, he unwrapped the bandages from Haechan's hands, and tossed them into the garbage behind him. He didn't meet Haechan's eyes, but he knew he was wincing a bit still as he cleaned what was left of the cuts there. Haechan wasn't going to outwardly complain though, he'd just sit there and take it because he knew it was best for him. He was good at doing that.

The bandages wouldn't need to be changed again. The scratches and cuts would heal enough to just leave them off. They weren't too bad in the first place, but Jungwoo wanted to be safe. 

As the two of them stepped out of Jungwoo's apartment and into The Cavern, Jungwoo was still doing up his hoodie. It was damp. It had rained earlier, and there was an issue with a couple of the skylights after a storm a little bit ago, so someone was fixing them up before it snowed. There were tiny puddles all over the floor of the cavern. Had Jungwoo been a little more childish, he'd have jumped in one by then. 

The Cavern wasn't much of a cavern at all really, it was more of a meeting area, made of all-knowing concrete between all of the first floor apartments. It was better lit on some areas than others, and smelt kind of musty, mixed with metal. There were two floors, but a fair amount of the rooms on either one reminded unoccupied. There were maybe only six or seven people who permanently lived there, and that's only because they didn't have anywhere else to go. 

Despite the smell, people hung out there a lot. Whether to train, to start play fights, or talk when nothing else was going on, there were always a couple people around. Even if they didn't live there, it was a commonplace, since Taeyong lived there.

Taeyong, though rather young, was the one in charge of everything. He lead, and he did so well. his office as on the furthest corner of the second floor, and he had an apartment there too, but he didn't often spend time in it. He practically lived in his office, and he only left it if he had to. 

Jungwoo got lucky. He got to work when he wanted to, and he was well rounded in occupation. He got to choose, that's what being on Taeyong's good side got him. 

Being as late as it was, The Cavern should've been full, even with people who aren't a part of The Neighbourhood, but there were only about thirty around. Sometimes the Amarantus' would bring around their partners or their school friends. No one really knew the complex was associated with a gang, and if they didn't, they didn't know for long.

Even with such few people, Jungwoo and Haechan managed to come across a couple of people to stick around with. Yuta and Mark weren't busy with anything at the time, neither was Johnny, and even Mark's sister was around. Jungwoo didn't remember her name. Mark was on Yuta's back, a bright smile on his face Jungwoo hadn't been able to bear himself in a while, with his head just slightly above the rest of the group. For a weapons supplier with one blind eye, Yuta looked pretty gentle, but Jungwoo had seen enough to know he could get serious. It was frightening almost, Jungwoo knew not to fuck with Yuta. 

Maybe Mark, not Yuta. 

Haechan dragged Jungwoo in their direction. 

"Jesus Christ, Jungwoo," Yuta started, without any other sort of greeting. "Haven't seen you in weeks!" He rolled his eyes at the comment, but gave him a small smile nonetheless. 

"I haven't been too far, don't worry about me."


	2. Chapter 2

Jungwoo spent a lot of time walking around late at night. He knew it wasn't the safest idea, especially since no matter how much he worked on combat, he was too clumsy to win a fight on his own. But with a mask over his mouth and darkness shrouding him, he wasn't too worried about any of it. He'd done that dozens and dozens of times before.

It was raining, but the rain felt cool as it dripped from his hair, down his neck and absorbed into the material of his shirt collar. He didn't really mind the drop in temperature.

The edges of the city were his favourite place to be. He could see far over the expanse of water to the neighbouring city, and he wanted to go back there sometimes. He hadn't been there since he was a child.

The neighbouring city was packed with people and tall buildings. It was very formal, yet somehow not formal at all. The street fashion over there was impeccable, and Jungwoo knew he wouldn't be able to keep up. There was everything and more to do there. There were so many shops; he still had a stuffed bear he got from one of the cute little stores in the arts district. the woman working there thought he was just too cute, and gave it to him. His mother insisted upon paying, but the woman simply wouldn't let her. Jungwoo wondered if she was still alive. He wondered if he could visit her, and if she would remember him.

He was probably only five or so miles from the complex, but that was enough distance for him. Sometimes he felt like if he stepped out for a little he could go back to what his childhood was like. He longed for that feeling. After all, he could've probably used a dose or two of nostalgia.

Despite it being early December, the water hadn't frozen over yet, and the light breeze was just enough to cause little waves to splash against the concrete below him. He leaned against the railing, looking out over the water and almost into the city.

Could he make it there? He was sure he couldn't, and not sure he wanted to. He didn't belong over there, and he knew that.

He started back the same way he came, making sure to walk in the alleys between buildings to prevent the chill from overcoming him, and to hide any suspicion that may have aroused from him being out so late at night. Though, he spent most of the walk back with an eerie sort of feeling that maybe he wasn't so alone, but every corner he turned was empty. He figured maybe he was just paranoid and needed a better night's sleep.

Meanwhile, Lucas had been walking on his own for a while. He revelled in the fact that it was so quiet, even in the heart of the city. He figured he must've missed the last connecting bus that could've brought him closer to home, which usually wasn't on the main complex, but he did have his own place there in case he needed somewhere to crash or ended up drinking for one reason or another. He vaguely recalled the bus being the 406.

But he was lucky enough to catch Jungwoo on his way home as well. He didn't really feel like he had a reason to be worried per say, but he tagged along a good few feet behind, just in case. The complex was closer than his home was anyway.

The complex they lived in wasn't all that secure, mostly because it was so obscured that it didn't need to be. There was a high, barbed wire fence around it, but that was it. Jungwoo learnt it was easy to climb, even if his hands got a little roughed up.

Each time Jungwoo curled his fingers into the spaces between the chain link fencing, he felt a small sort of spark inside of him, as if he was somehow being welcomed back home. Every time he came back he got that feeling. It was a "welcome back home" kind of feeling, and for some reason, it was exhilarating. He thought maybe the fence was just very slightly electric, and perhaps he was just dumb.

A slight noise caught his attention, and quickly he realized that the ground wasn't too welcoming as he fell down onto it.

"Shit!" Lucas exclaimed, immediately regretting speaking as Jungwoo rose to his feet and tried to speed off. He didn't need anyone knowing where he was going or that he was hurt in going there, especially now that he knew that feeling of being followed was real.

Jungwoo felt that hit good, in almost every part of his body. The air was long gone from his lungs, and he wasn't even sure he was breathing at all anymore as he ran. His mouth was filled with a wet sort of feeling that was unfamiliarly familiar to him, and metallic. He spit as he ran, before pressing his lips together and cursing himself for being so clumsy. There was another nosebleed.

The Cavern smelt awful, like normal, but Jungwoo could barely tell though the scent of his own blood and sweat. All he could make out was metal and alcohol. He instinctively took a seat in one of the darker corners, not wanting to bring the smell and stains of blood back into his room when he had just managed to get it out again, and he wanted to take a couple moments to assess how hurt he was.

Lucas was in shortly after him. He wandered the first floor before he heard it: very soft, pained whimpering. Whimpers weren't exactly uncommon around the complex due to one reason or another, but they felt different, and he wasn't able to ignore than feeling.

"Jungwoo, I'm sorry... it's me, Lucas," he announced, in a softer manner than he normally spoke as to not scare him even more. Jungwoo kicked something out into the light, a box of playing cards, and Lucas walked over to pick them up. The light caught his eyes, then the thin line extending from his nose to his chin. Jungwoo's white shirt would be ruined.

"Shit, how did you get this hurt falling?"

"Don't ask."

"Can you walk?"

"I don't know, I mean, I ran here, so probably?" Jungwoo snapped back without meaning to, and instantly he regretted it. "I'm sorry. I don't know, I think I got my leg caught somewhere."

"Was a hard fall, I know." Lucas held Jungwoo up a little bit and helped him walk to the best of his ability up the stairs to the second floor, and to Lucas' room. He couldn't help but notice the prominent limp, and worried that Jungwoo had hurt himself worse when he ran there. He hoped nothing was broken.

Jungwoo took a seat on Lucas' bed, while Lucas got a small kit of things together from his bathroom.

"I need more of that stuff," Jungwoo pointed out, but Lucas just shushed him.

"We'll deal with that later. Let me clean you up for now." He wet a cloth and brought it over to him, gently dabbing the area around his ankle. It had definitely gotten caught in the barbed wire.

"You've gotta be careful, Woo. There's a small area on the east side of the building that doesn't have the wire. You should be a little safer getting in that way, assuming you don't often fall from the tops of fencelines."

Jungwoo retained not a single word that left Lucas' lips.

"I feel sick," he admitted instead. Lucas started to bandage up Jungwoo's ankle, a process that took him little time. "Like nauseous sick." Jungwoo stuck out his tongue to point out that he bit it, not that Lucas didn't believe him.

"You feel like throwing up?" he asked him back, to which he nodded very slightly. Lucas got up from his place in front of him to grab the wastebasket by his dresser. "There, just in case." Jungwoo nodded again, and Lucas walked to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. He was sure by now that he'd need it. His actions were broken by a gag, then a bit of sloshing, and he rushed back over to him. Jungwoo had managed to start to cry, and Lucas sat beside him, gently pushing his hair back from his forehead and playing with his hair in hopes of calming him down. 

"This sucks... if only I wasn't so clumsy..."

"You'll be okay," Lucas tried to assure him, going back to get the glass of water and then handing it to him. "Rinse and spit." Jungwoo sighed a little, looking down at his well-bandaged ankle and let out another soft sob, before doing as told. That was the only sound in the room, and it seemed to bounce off each and every wall, and back to Lucas. It pained him more than ever.

"You can stay here tonight if you'd like. I'd rather make sure you're okay for the rest of the night, but if you'd rather go back to your place I understand. I can sleep on the floor."

"I don't wanna be alone..." Jungwoo whimpered, now curled up into a ball on top of the sheets. Lucas took them from under him, and pulled them over his body.

"Then I'll be there shortly."


	3. Chapter 3

Jungwoo wasn't sure that he would enjoy waking up with Lucas by his side. He hadn't slept in the sam bed as another person in a long time, but lucky for him, he didn't even have to think about sleeping, as Lucas was tossing and turning. 

"Lucas," Jungwoo mumbled, gently shaking him by the waist in hopes of waking him up. Not a sound came from him. Jungwoo shook him a little harder, and Lucas immediately batted his hand away. He didn't say anything, but he was definitely awake then. His breaths were heavy and harsh and rough.

"Don't panic Lucas, it's just me. You're safe," Jungwoo tried to assure him, speaking in a hushed voice and keeping his hands off for the sake of respecting boundaries. "Hey, hey... I'm right here, no one's gonna hurt you." Lucas nodded softly and rolled back over to face him, burying his face in Jungwoo's chest. He smelt like Lucas' cologne and laundry soap, a weird scent he never thought he would experience on anyone but himself. His shirt was huge on Jungwoo, but kind of cute. 

Jungwoo, for some reason he didn't understand, pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He felt at home like this, like somehow this was what was supposed to happen that night. He felt protective. 

"Don't cry, it's okay. It was just a dream, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you," he continued, petting Lucas' hair down gently as he sobbed into his chest. "Heat my heartbeat? Can you focus on that?" Lucas nodded again. Jungwoo's heart was racing; he had no idea what he was doing right now, or why he was doing it, he just hoped it was working. He pulled him closer. 

"You're safe now, I've got you. Try to go back to sleep, okay? It's too early to be up." Jungwoo had no idea what time it was, but the sun wasn't up, so he knew it wasn't morning yet. Lucas pulled the blankets back up over both of them, up to their shoulders. Neither of them said anything, just held each other until they both fell asleep. Lucas was glad he didn't have to explain anything.

Jungwoo woke up again to the sun shining in through the sheet material of the curtains. He had no idea what time it could've been, but considering the sun was fully up, it had to be at least seven. The light felt warm against the skin of his arm, left exposed from when he woke up with Lucas. 

It was brighter than normal, or maybe it just felt brighter than normal. Jungwoo figured for a moment that it could've been god coming down to finally judge them on their sins. He knew he would be going to hell. He knew _everyone_ there would be going to hell. 

They all had a bit of blood on their hands, whether they meant to have some or not. 

Soft music played through a crackly radio, he noticed. Lucas had to have put it on at some point. 

The other side of the bed was cold, which made Jungwoo kind of sad. He felt better than when he fell asleep though, and when he heard what could only be the sound of mugs clinging together, he smiled distantly. 

He forced himself to the edge of the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looked around the room a little. He had never been in Lucas' room before, and he didn't really remember taking a good look the night prior. It was kind of empty, but still felt nice, surprisingly welcoming. 

Lucas emerged from the kitchen with two plates of eggs and toast. Jungwoo didn't often eat breakfast, but the idea of food after a night of throwing up sounded beyond good to him at the moment. It wasn't much, but it smelt amazing. 

"Good morning," Lucas started once he noticed Jungwoo was awake. He gave him a smile as he put the rest of the butter onto his toast. He had a single pad of butter left on his plate, which he slid over to Jungwoo's before bringing both plates over to the edge of the bed and sitting down next to him. His hair was still wet from the shower he took before Jungwoo woke up. He found it kind of charming. 

"Good morning," Jungwoo replied, taking his plate. "Do you have forks here by chance?"

"Oh, fuck, yeah. I'm a dumbass, sorry." Jungwoo laughed a little as Lucas stood up and walked off to get forks for the two of them. "Do you want something to drink by chance?" He leaned against the refrigerator. 

"Um... maybe just some water? I feel like I could probably use some," Jungwoo responded, and without any other words, Lucas grabbed a bottle from the fridge and gave it to him with a fork. 

As soon as the fork was in his hand, Jungwoo was eating like he hadn't in ages. But his stomach had been pretty well empty after the night before, so it made enough sense in Lucas' mind for him to find it endearing.

"How is it? I know it's not all that much, and they might be kind of bland. The cheese I planned on using was moldy," Lucas asked him, taking more time with his food. 

"It's good!" Jungwoo responded. "You didn't put the cheese in these though, right?" It was kind of hard to mess up eggs and toast, but if there was moldy cheese in them, that would probably do it. 

"Ah, I'm glad you think so, and goodness no. I'm not that much of a disaster." Lucas paused for a moment. "Thank you for dealing with that earlier this morning, how are you feeling?" Jungwoo watched as Lucas pushed his hand through the front of his hair to push it out of his eyes, and the action almost gained a sigh from his throat. He wasn't attracted to Lucas in that way, but he had to at least admit it was hot. He shivered the thought out of his head. 

"I still feel a little off, sore maybe. My ankle feels pretty fucked up," he admitted. Putting his fork down for a moment, he stretched his arms into the air, letting out a bit of a groan. A slight blush tinted Lucas' cheeks, and Jungwoo smiled as he took note of it. "I don't feel sick though, so that's a start."

"Do you want some ice... for whatever needs it, I guess?" Lucas asked him, pushing the rest of his eggs onto Jungwoo's plate. He wasn't going to complain, and started to eat them without too much hesitation. "Don't worry about me, I don't usually eat breakfast. You need it more than I do."

"Would you recommend it, Doc?" Jungwoo playfully joked as Lucas got up. He grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and wrapped it in a small towel. He knelt down in front of him, gently holding the ice against the side of his ankle. 

"I think I would, Woo. Take it easy on this for the next couple days, okay?" Lucas tapped the bandaged spot on Jungwoo's ankle softly for emphasis. Silently, Jungwoo tried to assure him he would. 


	4. Chapter 4

Corporate buildings were nowhere near Jungwoo's favourite place to be. It used to be that he thought it was his job that sucked, but he decuded that it really just was office buildings and shitty people that were the real problem. Casual errands in an office building were never casual.

Jungwoo pushed one of the doors to the building open and Johnny followed behind him briefly, before moving in front of him to talk to the woman at the front desk. He rested a hand on his shoulder as he began to talk to the lady in his signature, deep tone. 

"Looking for someone named Woomin?" he announced, and the woman seemed to ponder over the thought for a couple minutes, before forming a response. 

"And you are?" she asked.

"A cousin of his, my name is Jonathan," Johnny answered rather smoothly, though partially a lie. He knew not do disclose much, but to give just enough for people to trust him. The woman thought for a couple more moments, before giving him a smile. 

"Fifth floor, third room on your right. If he's busy, you should probably wait for him. I'm sure you know he's not a big fan of interruptions." Johnny brought his hand down onto the top of the desk, to support himself, Jungwoo supposed, but it landed a little to hard for just emphasis. He hoped he wasn't about to run his mouth. 

"He knows I'm not a very patient man, it shouldn't take too long," Johnny pointed out, a tiny, almost undetectable twist of anger in his words, but he accompanied it with a smile. The lady gave him an odd look, as if he had started to regret her quick compliance. 

"Of course, I'm sorry M'am. My boyfriend can come across a little aggressive sometimes. we're just in a bit of a hurry. We have a plane to catch shortly and we promised Min we'd meet up with him before we left to bid him farewell," Jungwoo kind of interrupted, more to clean the air back up. He ran his hand down Johnny's arm to further push the point that he was his boyfriend, thought he wasn't. 

"It's alright Dear, go on ahead," the woman assured them, or more assured Jungwoo, handing him a small piece of paper from the corner of a brochure with the previous instructions on them. 

Jungwoo gave the woman a small bow before johnny dragged him off toward the elevator by his wrist. He tried to slightly limp along after him as best he could, and Haechan joined them a couple moments afterward. He pressed one of the elevator buttons, labeled five, and it glowed slightly. Jungwoo was shocked he even knew which one to press, considering. he wasn't there as Johnny and the woman discussed it. They jolted upward as the elevator started to move, and Jungwoo braced himself against the coolness of the metal bar at waist level. It felt grimy, like the cavern did, but the cavern was at least comfortable. 

Jungwoo's eyes fell to Johnny's hands, where he spun a metal ring around his index finger, indefinitely it seemed. Haechan leaned against the wall with his thumbs in his front belt loops, looking as if he was off to go talk to an old friend. 

Jungwoo nudged Johnny's side with his elbow, looking up at him very sightly. No one said anything. 

The three of them stepped out of the elevator as it came to a stop. Johnny made an effort of loosening his tie, while Haechan tightened his a bit. Jungwoo walked behind the two of them with his arm around Johnny's waist. 

"Been a while for ya, hasn't it?" Jungwoo tried bringing up, in any sort of effort to lessen the tension in the air. He was only given a mumbled "yeah" in response, before Johnny turned his head back to look at each door number, not that they mattered. 

He stopped, looking at the room labeled 164, and proceeded to knock. Jungwoo wished he would've heeded the secretary's advice, but it was far too late then. A tall man, about as tall as Johnny, opened the door, a grim look on his face. 

"What," he started. His voice sounded dark, like thunder but not as deep, and his question didn't come out as a question. 

"Busy?" Johnny asked him back. Woomin shook his head. He looked like he was from out of the country, maybe Europe. "Sixty thousand won." Johnny handed him the bag, and shoved the money into his pocket. 

"Had to bring your friends, huh kid?" 

"We don't work alone. Now have a good day, Sir," Haechan finally spoke, and it felt like a cold cut through the thick air. He gave Woomin a forced-looking smile, before pulling both of them off with him. The door slammed behind them, and Jungwoo was the only one to turn his head and make sure the man wasn't following behind them. He was only faced with a long, empty corridor. 

The drive back home was silent, besides the faint music emitting from the radio. That wasn't enough to draw out the tension from the air, and everyone in the car seemed to silently acknowledge that fact. But no one said anything at all.

As they finally pulled back up to Haechan and Jungwoo's home, Johnny finally spoke. 

"I heard you spent last night at Lucas'?" Jungwoo had to think for a moment as to how he wanted to answer that question. He bit his lower lip before words managed to make their way out.

"Yeah... it was kind of an awkward situation as to how I got there... I may have fallen off of the fencing on my way back home," he tried to explain, not making eye contact with any of them as they got out of the car. 

"Jesus christ Woo, be careful," Johnny commented. Haechan still hadn't spoke anything. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go have YangYang clean me up if my ankle doesn't heal within the next couple days. Lucas took good care of me," Jungwoo pointed out, most of it being lies except for the ending. 

"Hey, how'd thing's go?" He was glad to have Taeil break the topic. Frankly, he was glad to see Taeil at all. He felt his cheeks flush a little, despite the temperature, as Taeil wrapped his arm around his waist. 

"Fine," Haechan finally spoke before Jungwoo could break his own internal panic. He spoke in the blandest tone, something Jungwoo rarely ever heard from him.

"No big troubles," Jungwoo added in, with a bit of a smile. "Long drive." Taeil gave him a bit of a smile as well as he pulled aside from the sort-of embrace. He ran his fingers through the front of his dark hair, tipping his head back in a way that was able to show off the veins in his neck. He really was built well, Jungwoo couldn't ignore that.

Taeil was extremely handsome. Jungwoo had never considered the fact that he might like men until he met him. Taeil completed that thought with a fancy wax seal, that was the only way Jungwoo could think of explaining it. He was the type of person to have wax seals.

The cool, late autumn air blew into the cavern from its entrance, and Jungwoo tried his hardest to hide a shiver.

"Shit, you cold?" Johnny asked, and within moments, had his jacket in Jungwoo's arms.

"I don't-" Johnny interrupted him before he could speak again.

"Bring it back to Taeyong in the morning, I'll pick it up from him. I have a bottle of whiskey that needs some tending to back home." And with that he walked off, leaving only Jungwoo and Taeil. Haechan was nowhere to be seen. No one had noticed he left, he was so quiet about it.

"No one's here..." Jungwoo announced, as if it wasn't clear from the awkward silence between the two of them. There was not a person in the cavern but the two of them.

"And that's an excuse for us to hang out I think, you look a little tense," Taeil stated, followed by a playful elbow to Jungwoo's side, knocking him off balance. "Let's go get slushies or something."


	5. Chapter 5

Taeil did end up bringing Jungwoo to go get slushies. The two came back, made out, and Jungwoo fell asleep in another bed that wasn't his.

Neither of them made much of it.

Jungwoo woke up the next morning freezing, practically clinging to the blankets like he would die had he not. Taeil, still mostly asleep, seemed to notice, and wrapped his arm around Jungwoo's waist and pulled him back against his chest. He was warm, and Jungwoo was comfortable. He tried not to think too much of it. He was asleep, he couldn't be blamed for his actions.

"Good morning," Taeil said, low and groggy sounding. Jungwoo let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

"Good morning." He noticed he sounded like he had been awake for longer. He blamed the cold.

"Breakfast?" Taeil muttered, but didn't let up on his gentle grip of Jungwoo's waist. He shook his head. "Your arms are cold. I'm sorry, the window's open."

Despite not wanting to, Jungwoo forced himself up out of bed and walked over to the window.

"I can't get it to shut," he pointed out with a bit of a hop, then a grunt, trying with all of his might to get the window closed.

"Keep trying, it sticks sometimes," Taeil assured him from his spot, still in bed. Jungwoo made a couple more struggle noises, still trying.

"I can't get it, Taeil," he insisted, this time almost sounding pouty.

"Yeah, it never has shut fully," Taeil finally informed him, and Jungwoo gave him a look back. 

"So you let me keep trying?"

"Yep, and was thoroughly entertained by it too. Now come here, come back to bed." Jungwoo picked up a shirt from the floor and shoved it into the crack left in the window before turning back to Taeil and slipping back under the covers.

"I like laying here like this," Taeil stated, rather softly as his hands found their way back around Jungwoo's waist to hold his body against him again. Jungwoo wasn't about to agree with him, he couldn't bring himself to do that.

Jungwoo knew getting attached to people around the complex was a bad idea. He learned that uncomfortably quick, maybe three days after he arrived. Friends didn't last long, and relationships even less.

Taeil took Jungwoo's silence with a grain of salt. "Plans?"

"Not this Monday," Jungwoo responded with more confidence. He was far more comfortable discussing the present days events, not the inevitable loss of future.

"I haven't been out in a couple days, but I think Yong's got Amarantus kids doing a lot of the drug runs," Taeil brought up. He wasn't doing anything that day either.

Jungwoo hadn't had to do his real job in a while, and that, he was thankful for. He doubled in drug dealing, which he did more often, but his main occupation was seducing. The process was simple, but uncomfortable to him: find the target, seduce them with his innocent charm, bring them back to his place, and the rest of the job was up to Xiaojun and Ten.

"Can I borrow a jacket? Just for now, I have to return Johnny's still and I have to go talk to Lucas about getting more first aid supplies," Jungwoo asked, and Taeil didn't hesitate to agree.

"But just a couple more minutes, if that's okay." Jungwoo didn't say yes or no.

Taeil's jacket fit Jungwoo just right, somehow. Taeil was known for having oversized clothes, but it felt odd that he was able to fit into clothes of someone so much smaller than him. He wasn't going to complain excessively.

It started to snow shortly after the two of them left to go speak to Lucas. It was never enough to accumulate, would just fall, melt, and turn into messes of what Jungwoo liked to call "water-snow-ice." That was the only way he could describe it.

Lucas was working out of YangYang's office. YangYang's office was the furthest from the apartments in terms of walking distance, that was why Lucas held an office area on complex. Any more urgent emergencies were dealt with by vehicle anyway, and a five minute drive wouldn't often be the death of someone. Just slightly inconvenient. Most of the people on complex couldn't drive, it was only Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung, and Taeil. Jungwoo was lucky to have found himself with one of the three of them. It was too cold to walk, and Jungwoo's ankle was still in no shape to do so.

When the two of them got there, Taeil seemed to physically relax a little. It was warmer in the building, but Jungwoo still found it sickening. The room had always made him uncomfortable, and he knew that was never something that would change.

"Ah, Jungwoo! It's been a while," Yangyang began as Jungwoo and Taeil walked into the office. He pulled the sleeves of his white coat over his arms so it sat right. He always had that coat, even though he never really needed if it he wasn't doing surgeries, and he rarely did surgeries. The worst he had done was take out Jisung's appendix and make sure Renjun didn't die from an overdose, but he was trained to do anything. Lucas functioned as his apprentice.

"It has, how have you been?" Jungwoo asked him back. Taeil stood behind Jungwoo, occasionally brushing his hair out of his eyes or sighing as another wave of warmth hit him. Even in his coat, Jungwoo was cold.

"I've been worse, far worse actually. How are you and Mr. Moon?" YangYang replied, with a smile so genuine Jungwoo was almost concerned. Taeil gave YangYang a smile back as he pushed his sleeves up to his elbows.

"Typical," Jungwoo answered first and on behalf of both of them, and Taeil gave no other response to the question. YangYang pushed his glasses up his nose some.

"Looks like you could use a little checking out," the doctor suggested, pointing out Jungwoo's bandaged foot.

"Ah no, Lucas took good care of me. Should change the bandages though. Speaking of, that's what we came here for. To get some more, and maybe some antiseptic wipes if you have any you can spare?" YangYang gestured for Jungwoo to follow him into a room, which Jungwoo found unnecessary, but did anyway. He sat on the examination table while YangYang changed the bandage and cleaned everything up.

"Here, this should be enough for now. And go talk to Ten again, need to toughen you up some," the doctor joked, and Jungwoo laughed. "You need anything else? Rubbing alcohol? Ointment? Condoms?"

"Good god no, actually, a new set of sheets?" YangYang laughed a bit before he spoke.

"Ah, got the last set dirty? Condoms can help with that, you know."

"Ah, if only condoms could be applied to bloody noses. Blood doesn't come out easy and isn't pleasant to come home to," Jungwoo joked back, though most of his words were true.

"You're a good guy, Jungwoo, Lucas and I are lucky to have you around for stuff like this," YangYang pointed out, handing him a paper bag of supplies.

"Don't flatter me, I do basic first ai-"

"He's not wrong, Jungwoo," Taeil butted in, poking his head into the room. "You're far better than most of the people I've met in my twenty-five years of life."


	6. Chapter 6

Johnny's jacket was comfortable. Huge, but comfortable. Almost so comfortable that he wanted to ask if he could keep it, but he knew his answer would most likely be no. It wasn't worth asking.

He liked that it was a little too big on him. Taeil's was a better fit, but Johnny's was cozier.

It was storming outside, Jungwoo could just faintly tell from the narrow window in his kitchen. He was silently glad it wasn't snowing. Not only was snow messy, but it made him uncomfortable leaving his place. Most winters he stayed indoors. Taeyong understood, and did his best to keep him as involved as possible. Most of the others wouldn't get such treatment, but Jungwoo held a soft spot in his heart.

And played the role as his trophy husband.

There was no real connection between the two of them, but they were perfectly good at faking it. And Jungwoo gained quite a few opportunities from the arrangement as well.

Not much of the rain made its way into the cavern. Only small drops managed to land on Jungwoo's head, and even then, it wasn't a frequent occurrence. Whoever had been working on the skylights must've gotten more done in the past couple days. He hadn't heard any construction, but odds are he wouldn't have if there was any. 

Johnny didn't have a place in the same complex as Jungwoo, but he was around more often than not either helping Taeyong out or stumbling around drunk trying to help Taeyong out.

And that day, he was perched against the railing of the second floor, leaning over the top of it.

"Nice seein' ya, Jungwoo. That jacket looks good on you, s'it new?" he started, speaking loudly enough for his slurred words to echo. 

"No, it's yours."

"Oh yeahhhhhh." Jungwoo found his words less than comforting. "Ya can keep it if ya like, looks good on ya." Jungwoo took the jacket off, looking it over for the first time. He couldn't determine if the leather was real or not, but there was a patch sewn into the upper right arm.

"But this is your patch, I'm not an Ari," Jungwoo pointed out, making his way to the stairs. "It doesn't match, I have my own."

"It's cool, I can get a new one. And ya can pretend you're an Ari when you wear it," Johnny insisted as Jungwoo made it up to stand beside him.

"Oh, you mean I can pretend to be more important than I am?" Jungwoo joked, and the two of them got a bit of a chuckle out of it. Silence filled the space between the two of them.

"The Amarantus kids wanna play games, if you wanna join us," Jungwoo added after a couple moments. Johnny shook his head.

"Nahhhh, it's okay. Ya know, Kiddo. I'm glad you came here," he said all of a sudden, and Jungwoo cocked an eyebrow at him, finally looking back over at him.

"Johnny, it's been three years," Jungwoo reminded him, but Johnny just smiled a little.

"Yeah, but still. It's cool havin' ya around. Like, you're my lil' bro or something like that... If ya ever get into any kind of trouble, ya know I'm here to back ya. That's what family does."

Jungwoo's expression suddenly fell blank. He had never exactly had a family before. He didn't even really know what family was. What was he supposed to say back? Despite being drunk, Johnny wouldn't lie, and Jungwoo felt he shouldn't lie either, but what else could he do? What was the textbook answer to "you're like a brother to me"? Was he supposed to say thanks? Was he supposed to say "you too"?

"Thanks bro," he finally managed to spit out, in the most awkward sounding way he had ever spoken. He reached his hand up to the back of his neck. Johnny seemed to sober up a little in that moment.

"I think we're family, Jungwoo. Like brothers," he reiterated. As consoling as the phrase should have been, Jungwoo didn't exactly like to hear it.

"Family doesn't really work with me," Jungwoo stated, kinda cold and flat. Johnny wasn't sure how to respond.

"Ya came out of Taeil's this morning, I saw," he abruptly changed the topic. Johnny was just leaving Taeyong's office at the time, and caught him out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't wearing the same jacket, but Johnny wasn't about to ask into that.

"We didn't fuck, if that's what you're about to ask." Jungwoo's tone had changed to something more stoic. He wanted to go back to his apartment. He felt uncomfortable around Johnny right then. "Was just a night. I'm always around somewhere other than home."

Getting close to people was not something Jungwoo liked. It took all he had in him to get as close as he had to Haechan, and he could be vulnerable around Lucas and Taeil sometimes, but he didn't like the feeling of close companionship. He knew too well that people would just leave. Or better worded, die.

"Don't drink too much more, don't want you getting hurt," was all he could manage to say before bringing the jacket back up over his shoulders and walking back to his place.

Taeil, Haechan, Doyoung, Jisung, Jaemin and Mark were all waiting back at his place, talking casually as Jungwoo walked in.

"You don't look so good there, Woo," Haechan pointed out, but Jungwoo just looked up and forced a small smile.

"It's okay, sensitive topic came up. Sorry that took so long. Has anyone come up with a game to play?"

"I did. The premise is simple: either I dare you, or I dick you," Jungwoo watched Mark explain. Jungwoo gave him the strangest look he could muster, but he just bursted into laughter. No one else in the room seemed concerned over the proposition. Doyoung looked a little caught off guard by the concept, but he didn't complain any. As a matter of fact, Haechan looked almost excited.

"We are not about to play dick or dare, you dumbasses. We're not even playing truth or dare," Jungwoo rejected. "And Jisung's not legal, if we are, he can't."

"Awe come on, there's nothing better to do!" Mark whined, but Jungwoo just rolled his eyes before a scream of sorts interrupted any thought he could have had. Immediately, he jumped to his feet and ran to the door, but he took a moment to open it, worried by what he may be faced with. Johnny had been leaning against the railing, had he fallen? He looked through the smallest sliver between the door and its frame.

"Everyone down."

Jungwoo flicked the lights off, and there was rustling behind him. He assumed the others were finding places to hide until he found a hand on his shoulder.

"Shouldn't we go out there, what if someone's hurt?" Jisung asked him, Taeil not far behind him. Jisung's voice quivered a little. Not many people were too used to the lack of protocol around the place, and Jisung was still pretty new. He shook his head.

"Not you, Jaemin and I will." He hated to treat Jisung like a kid, but he wasn't used to that kind of stuff. Jisung was used to being around computers, not the imminent and immediate threat of possible death.

Jaemin stood up without much hesitation and made his way over to the door beside him, but before he could even open his mouth to speak, Taeil does.

"I'm coming too," he stated, standing up from his place along the wall beside the door and joining the two. Jungwoo held him back with his arm.

"No, you're not. You have literally no idea how to fight. You'd be fucked if anything combat related is going on out there. And you'll be fucked up even more if you saw something. You've gotta be introduced to this shit gradually, not all at once. I've learnt that the hard way." Taeil at least seemed to pick up the point, and sat back down where he was before without any protest.

"Now Jisung, as soon as we get out of that door, you close it, okay?" He gave Jungwoo a look, one he couldn't decipher between one of confusion or panic even though the room wasn't extensively dark.

"And how do I know when to open it again?" he asked in response.

"Three knocks, Haechan knows how it works. Just lay low and keep quiet," Jungwoo insisted, before patting him on the shoulder and turning the doorknob slowly.

Jaemin and him stepped outside, but were greeted with someone they didn't recognize, tied to a chair at the wrists and ankles. A bit ago, the sight would've wrecked though him, and it had before, but it didn't phase him anymore.

And when there's a crack of bone and another scream of pain, neither of the two even slightly flinch. Jungwoo learnt that the cracking of tiny bones like those wasn't like the crunching of leaves, like it was in the movies. It was far closer to sounding like desperation and missed opportunities, if either of those were able to make physical noise.

"Like the show, JW?" Xiaojun asked the two of them as he noticed them. Jungwoo had to admit, his answer was no.

"T put this one together well," he responded, trying his hardest to refrain from lying.

"Oh no, this is just the beginning. This one's been especially troublesome," Ten jumped in, a slight, sinister smile tilting his lips.

It had always been an unwritten rule of sorts to call one another by initials when people who didn't know us were around, and considering that Xiaojun broke another one of the man's fingers, it seemed he wasn't from around here.

The man seemed to be pleading, but every word he said seemed to blur before it reached Jungwoo's ears. Maybe that was how he had to cope.

As he heard another cry, he turned his back to the man, and silently prayed that he would make it out alive.

Jungwoo knocked on the door again, and footsteps padded their way to it, where Haechan peered out.

"All clear?" he asked, and Jungwoo nodded. Jaemin and him made their way back in, and Haechan turned the lights back on. Everyone returned to where they were sitting before: Taeil on Jungwoo's bed, Haechan on a pillow on the floor, Doyoung beside him, resting against the lower part of the couch, Jaemin and Mark on the couch behind them, and Jungwoo beside Taeil. Their hands accidentally brushed as Jungwoo tried to situate himself, and he let out a sigh.

"So tell me, where were we?"


	7. Chapter 7

A brief pop came from the other side of the room, bringing Jungwoo's attention back to the matter at hand. It was just another one of Jisung's chewing gum bubbles. He'd been going at that for a while by that time, and it was only just then starting to get annoying. Taeil and Jaemin were passing a bag of popcorn back and forth that they had made five minutes earlier, and Doyoung was about halfway through a package of black licorice.

They ended up playing a game that somehow combined truth or dare with spin the bottle, as per Jisung's insistence. At that point, nothing extreme had come up, minus Mark just sitting in his boxers. That was the wildest it had gotten, and it wasn't really "wild" in their eyes. Jungwoo found the game kind of childish, but the others were having fun. The least he could do was humour them and join in on it.

Jisung reached forward and spun the bottle, and the group watched as it spun, and stopped at Haechan.

"Do you want a question or a dare, Haechan?" he asked him, his mouth still half full of bubblegum, with a small smirk on his face that made Jungwoo slightly nervous.

"Dare, let's keep things going here," Haechan responded. Jisung's smirk turned into more of a smile, but they could tell he had something in mind.

"Perfect! Spin that bottle again. Seven minutes in heaven, whoever it lands on. You and them," he suggested, and instantly Jungwoo felt a little on edge. There was something he didn't like about that.

"That's so childish-" he tried to interject, mostly because he wasn't in a mood to force Haechan into anything he didn't wanna do, but Haechan looked ready to go.

"Alright, I've got no problem with that," he rejected, and without any more hesitation, he reached out and sent the bottle spinning again. Jungwoo had his fingers crossed behind his back that it didn't stop on him.

Thankfully for him, it didn't, but as all of the eyes in the room follow the neck of the bottle up to see Taeil, Jungwoo could feel a rock drop in his stomach, and almost lurched over at the sudden discomfort.

"You two know the drill, come out when you hear the alarm," Jisung explained, or at least sort of did, and Haechan hopped to his feet, dragging Taeil along behind him. He seemed a little nervous too. Jungwoo chose to keep his mouth shut for his own sake. 

"You look a little rough, kid. Loosen up a little," Mark abruptly stated, holding a beer Jungwoo didn't know he was drinking out to him. He didn't take much time to think about it, just took a drink from the can and passed it back to Mark. He wished it was enough to get him drunk, but he was lucky to not be _that_ much of a lightweight.

Jungwoo tried to tune out everything. For some reason, every thought he had seemed to move too fast. He wanted Taeil to come back and he wanted to lay back on his bed and imagine the stars were on his ceiling and just stare up at them with him. That felt right to him.

"Should we wait up for them?" Doyoung's words broke Jungwoo from his brief train of thoughts.

"We've gotta, Haechan's gotta ask the next person," Jisung pointed out, but he reached forward to grab the bottle by its neck and gave it a spin again. "But we can spin it for now, I think." The bottle spun and spun again, stopping directly at Jungwoo.

"Fuck," he muttered to himself, hoping it wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear. "Well that's a good time for us to stop if you ask me-"

"Aweeee, is Jungwoo nervous all of a sudden? Is it cause his little baby Taeil is probably doing obscene things to his best friend and not hi-" Jaemin tried to tease, but Jungwoo wouldn't let him finish. He felt his face heat up a little, unsure if it was from embarrassment or anger, but it didn't matter.

"Shut up Jaemin. I invited you here and I'm not afraid to kick you out."

"Alright, alright. I'm just fuckin' with ya." Jungwoo didn't respond. Doyoung snagged another piece of his licorice, before tossing a small piece of it at Jaemin, hitting him in the forehead.

"Time to stop, dumbass," he announced, and that was enough to shut Jaemin up. As a matter of fact, it was enough to bring silence to the entire room, at least until the timer went off, and both Taeil and Haechan return from their place in the bathroom.

"So, who made all that noise?" Doyoung asked, breaking the silence that shrouded the room with his laughter. Jungwoo didn't hear any noise, and had he, he would have left by the time they both returned.

"Wasn't me, my mouth was bus-" Taeil started, but Jungwoo was glad he stopped so he didn't have to step out. His cheeks were beat red, eyes slightly cloudy with tears in a way Jungwoo knew too well.

Jungwoo didn't know what to do, what to say. Haechan, his best friend, most certainly had just gotten head from the only man Jungwoo had ever been attracted to. He almost felt betrayed in a way. Haechan hadn't known any better, and Jungwoo definitely wasn't about to tell him otherwise after that. But what else could he do?

"Jungwoo, it's your turn," Mark reminded the group. Jungwoo picked himself up from his spot on the bed.

"Spin it again. I'm not playing anymore."


	8. Chapter 8

Another addition to the list of things Jungwoo disliked: long car rides. And he learnt that Taeil didn't make them even slightly better. The two had been driving for thirty or so minutes, and they didn't even have the radio on. The only noise was coming from outside, and from driving itself. The air felt so incredibly tense that if he didn't have a job to do, Jungwoo would've flung himself out of the car by then. He didn't want Taeil coming with him, especially to where they were going, and _especially_ after three days of not being able to say anything to him or Haechan. After what happened during that game a couple nights prior, he felt a little betrayed. 

His days were spent in YangYang's office, helping out Lucas in whatever way he was able to, or in his apartment, doing nothing at all. It was really a matter of how to waste time until he was needed again.

Last time Jungwoo had came into the area they were on their way to, a guy they didn't even deal to almost killed Haechan. His apartment smelt like blood for almost a week after, no matter how many times Jungwoo tried to air it out. He still didn't understand why Taeyong was so incessant upon sending them back when he knew it made Jungwoo feel uncomfortable. He wished he'd send someone more intimidating, like Yuta or Johnny.

Nothing like sending one of the weakest people in TN to deal with the regulars, who just happen to be attempted murders. Maybe the bandaged ankle would work to his advantage, he thought momentarily, but he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it wouldn't. 

As they pulled up to the address, Jungwoo watched Taeil's fingers curl tighter around the steering wheel, and he put the car in park. He got out before Jungwoo, and when Jungwoo joined him, he was standing with his back resting on the hood of the car. He looked too relaxed, and Jungwoo didn't like it. He almost looked eager to be out. After all, it's not like he knew what happened last time Jungwoo was there. 

The two watched as a man, probably around their age, in sweatpants and a hole-filled t-shirt, opened the screenless screen door to a nearby house. That was the man, the same one they dealt with last time. Jungwoo noticed how his facial expressions changed slightly since the previous week. Somehow, in only a weeks time, he looked years older. Jungwoo kept those thoughts to himself. 

He actually wasn't too bad of a guy, though Jungwoo hadn't spoken too much to him. It was the people he lived with that were the problem.

Jungwoo and Taeil met him halfway, in the middle of his lawn, and the deal went absolutely and uncomfortably silent. He was probably high, but that didn't matter. It was simply a matter of handing over money and taking of LSD.

"Thank you for the business," Jungwoo told him, and even managed to give him the smallest of smiles. The man gave him a nod. For his previous eagerness, Taeil didn't seem so sure anymore, and when another man stepped out of the house and came to join the buyers side, Jungwoo gave him a nod too. Taeil didn't seem to get the cue, and that was all it took for fists to be thrown. Lord knew Taeil couldn't fight well, but he didn't need to, because Jungwoo found himself in the middle of the two, throwing him back off the man and throwing punch after punch after punch, leaving the man no chance to actualy hurt either of them. He didn't get a single hit in before Jungwoo got off of him, and the buyer picked him up, holding him back as Taeil grabbed Jungwoo by the wrist and started back to the car.

 _The same man,_ Jungwoo thought. _Get a fucking hold of yourself._

They really had to stop dealing to those guys.

"What was that for?" Jungwoo asked Taeil as they approached his side of the car.

"I didn't do anything! He just came at me!" he shouted back at him, grabbing the handle to his door.

"Fuck fuck fuck get in the car we'll discuss this later just drive are you hurt?" Jungwoo rambled, ending in a question. Taeil desperately tried to fit the key into the ignition but his hands were shaking too much to succeed the first few times.

"I'm good."

"Jesus fuck I was just starting to heal and this literally happened last time, I should've never let Taeyong send you here with m-" Taeil interrupted before Jungwoo could finish his second set of rambled words, placing his hand on top of his, both resting on Jungwoo's thigh.

"Jungwoo, Angel, I'm okay. He only got me a couple times before you went off and beat the living shit out of him," he repeated, this time noticeably more calm and reassuring, but Jungwoo hit his hand away.

"Taeil?" he started, looking ahead of them at the road as Taeil drove. He didn't want to look at him anyway.

"Yeah?" he asked him back, and Jungwoo could feel his eyes on him, and not the road. He refused to reciprocate the action.

"What the fuck did you just call me."


	9. Chapter 9

If bad days were to be marked on calendars, Jungwoo would've managed to erase the ink from December 11th.

There was not yet a worse day than December 11th. 

Jungwoo was tired of ignoring people. Taeil had to know what was going on, even if that would screw up the halfway-friendship they already had. Jungwoo didn't care anymore.

He slammed the door to his apartment behind him, to be instantly greeted by the sound of what must have been a girl. A small part of his mind started to wonder who might have been getting it around the complex, but he let his mind pass over that thought. Odds are it was one of the older Amarantus', or Taeyong or Johnny. Somehow those people made the most sense in his mind.

Last time he slept with a girl, it wasn't nearly as fun as he had wanted it to be.

But then he looked up, and on the second floor balcony, there he was, Johnny, stumbling around as he did. Figures, he was drunk again. Johnny was always drunk if he didn't have anything else to do. Should've probably gone to rehab or something, but if he needed rehab, there were people around that needed far more than that. If there was a hell, everyone there was going there, and Jungwoo knew it.

He kinda understood why Johnny did it though. He had been there for about as long as Taeyong, and Jungwoo didn't want to even start to imagine how much he could've seen in his lifetime. Johnny surely had many folders of traumatizing memories in his head.

Jungwoo didn't knock on Taeil's door, an action he felt he may regret, but he didn't care enough for it to stop him. And later was that very moment, as right before his eyes, was a girl he only knew to be Taeyong's sister.

That was not what he was expecting, to say the least.

"I um, pleasure seeing you Ash," Jungwoo tried to start, avoiding the 'why are you here' question.

Jungwoo liked Ash. He wished she was around more often actually. She never really had an official place as a part of the gang, but she did minor tasks sometimes with Taeyong or Johnny's help. She was nice. Pretty cool actually. Cooler than Jungwoo knew he'd ever be. She had really short, green hair and a killer smile, one that could real anyone in that she needed to, and Jungwoo was pretty sure she knew that even. He had suspected she was a lesbian until that very moment.

"Jungwoo, this isn't what you think it is," Taeil interrupted, before Ash could have time to respond.

"Of course, Ash, can you step out for a moment or two by any chance? I have a couple things worth discussing with Mr. Moon here," Jungwoo stated, then directed his gaze to Ash, giving her a small bow. "My apologies if I interrupted anything."

"No, no, don't worry about it," she told him. Her voice always had a way of being reassuring. He swore, if he was straighter and hadn't had sex with her brother twice, he would consider dating her. But, circumstances said otherwise.

Ash got up from her place, and gave Jungwoo a small bow in return before making her way out of the room.

"Do you need something?" Taeil asked, a tone of disdain in his voice that wasn't present as he spoke with Ash. "What's so important? Done playing stupid?"

"Playing stupid? About what? And yes, actually, but before that, you're the one who was on his knees for my best friends dick! I don't know what you've been expecting!" Jungwoo pointed out in response.

"Why are you so fucking upset about that? It was my decision, I did it, so fucking what? Shut the fuck up about it," Taeil barked back, the anger finally coming out more. "Or have you finally put the pieces together and you're here to show some sort of human emotion? You here to finally tell me you wanna fuck me?"

"Human emotion? What the fuck are you on, Taeil?"

"Yeah, cause you can't seem to express it or some shit. You can't get attached to anything or anyone. Something's clearly got you fucked up _so_ good that you just can't seem to deal with people actually liking you. You did it with Lucas, and now you're doing it with me. Get over this childish bullshit, Jungwoo. We're adults now," he responded, but in saying so, now had him pinned against the wall, his one arm holding most of his weight as he rested his hand against the it. Jungwoo couldn't help but feel a little threatened; he had never really realized how frightening Taeil could be until that moment. But he didn't give it much more thought than that.

"I don't know if you're just too stupid to notice, or too much of an asshole to care, but things aren't all sunshine and rainbows around here. People don't come here for the fucks of it, Taeil. This is a place of refuge, a home for people who's families friends and societies thought they were too fucked up so they kicked them out. You wanna know why I don't like getting close to people? My family all died when I was young, and I was lucky enough that Taeyong found me on the street and took me in. What do you want me to say? That I'm just fine? I walked out last week to some random man I've never even seen before getting his fingers broken one by one until he confessed to something, and that's _if_ he even had anything to confess. I'm used to this trigger happy, every man for themselves thing by this point, and you can't just expect all of that to fall down because a man has feelings for me. You haven't been here long enough to know. You'll learn everything sooner or later," Jungwoo explained, his words rushing out too fast for his mind to form them and he tried not to stutter over them. "And man, I really did think I was interested in you... you really are an insensitive prick, Taeil."

Jungwoo pushed Taeil off of him, zipping up his jacket and heading for the door. 

"Jungwoo... I'm so sorry..." Taeil said, sighing a little as he scratched the back of his neck. "I... um, think you should go before I make this worse..."

Jungwoo didn't hesitate. 


	10. Chapter 10

Jungwoo didn't really know where to go. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see Haechan yet, though he knew he should. He didn't even know who to blame anymore, or if there even was anyone to blame. He thought maybe he was the one in the wrong, since neither of them knew any better. 

He didn't really have a right to be angry with him. But with Taeil, Jungwoo was furious. By that point in the day, he didn't even know why. So many things had piled up into one huge mountain of "how am I supposed to want to fuck someone as disastrous as you" bullshit.

Maybe Jungwoo didn't have a reason to be so frustrated before, but after that mess, he did. He had already been though so much, and to have all of that thrown back in his face just because someone he liked was getting it from someone he was friends with, was not something he was going to deal with. 

"What's up with all the commotion? Trouble in paradise?" A voice broke through his thoughts. Johnny gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Jungwoo noted that he looked surprisingly sober. 

"Fuck him, honestly," Jungwoo responded, pushing his hair back. Johnny let out a bit of a laugh.

"I'm sure you will soon enough. And I don't mean that in a 'you fuck everyone' kinda way, I mean like, I don't know. Just don't think too much into my words." he stated, mimicking Jungwoo's previous actions subconsciously.

"Not after that, I won't be," Jungwoo assured him. Johnny looked doubtful. "Surprise to see you sober."

"Yeah, I know right? I'm surprised too! But hey, Taeyong mentioned wanting to talk to you? He said he'd come around sometime, but might do him some good if you went to him," Johnny announced, and Jungwoo nodded along. "You know how he gets a little sidetracked sometimes on non-urgent things."

"Not like I have anywhere else to go," he complained, to which Johnny smiled a bit. "I'll be seeing you."

Jungwoo walked into Taeyong's office to find him sleeping at his desk. Must've been another long night, he assumed. He slowly raised his head from the table.

"Ah... shit. Sorry... how are you?" Taeyong started, rubbing the sleep from his clouded over eyes. For having just been woken up, Taeyong still looked rather put together. His sleeves were rolled up, but barely creased in any place they weren't supposed to be, and his glasses rested just a little too low on his nose, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"Rough," Jungwoo replied, simply and lacking much emphasis. Taeyong's head tilted slightly in concern. Taeyong may have been the boss, but he did genuinely care about his members' wellbeing. 

"I'm sorry Woo... have you talked to YangYang? Maybe he could help some?" Jungwoo shook his head. He didn't need anyone else's pity for a situation he put himself into.

"I don't want medications, Taeyong."

"Sorry, sorry, it was just a suggestion. But I wanted to talk to you about an upcoming Gala Jaehyun was invited to. The whole police force will be there, so we need to make a pristine impression. He asked me if you would like to be his partner for the event, since he knows you come along with me sometimes," Taeyong brought up. Jungwoo listened intently. Maybe a fancy dinner was something he needed to feel better.

He always liked seeing a handsome man in a well-fitting suit, after all.

"But if you're not feeling up to it I can find someone else. I don't want you to go if you're not at your best." Taeyong finished.

"I'll be just fine, don't worry about me. It's my job after all." Jungwoo spoke in a more snappy tone than he had hoped to have. Taeyong had done a lot for him, and Jungwoo wasn't about to put that aside.

Taeyong was the older brother figure Johnny wanted to be.

Taeyong took him in three years prior. It had its downfalls, but as a guy with no place to live but with his drug-addicted uncle and controlling aunt, he was glad to get out and have a stable income. He brought him up from the moment he stepped in.

Jungwoo was grateful for him in a silent sort of way.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be so angsty on you. This past little bit has been rough," he apologized. He expected Taeyong to say something along the lines of "I understand," or "It's okay," but instead, Jungwoo finds himself in a gentle hug. He hugs Taeyong back.

"Don't worry about it Jungwoo. We'll get this shit figured out." Taeyong pulled away from the hug, a hand on Jungwoo's shoulder.

"Thank you Taeyong, I'll do it. But you know how I feel about the pigs," Jungwoo told him, and actually managed a bit of a smile. He liked joking around with Taeyong. He wished he was able to do it more often.

"Oh, I know well. Just be your charming little self, and the world is rockin'," Taeyong explained.

"Will do Taeyong. And thank you, again. For your leniency."

"It's really the least I can do for you, after everything you've done for me." Jungwoo didn't really know what he meant. Jungwoo hadn't done a hell of a lot for Taeyong, or so he thought he hadn't.


	11. Chapter 11

A fight was an awful way to start the day. Jungwoo knew that, but he wasn't expecting it to have affected him so much. Though, he also wasn't expecting Taeil to be an asshole either. He felt rather drawn out, in a way he usually didn't feel after arguments, since they were pretty common around complex. He felt like he could sleep for a few days just to not feel anything forget anything happened. It wasn't often that he got this upset by anything, just numb and angry usually. It wasn't pleasant. 

He didn't even want to discuss anything with anyone. That would surely only make things worse, and that itself made Jungwoo worried. As angry as he was, he didn't want any action taken toward Taeil. He was just frustrated, and almost disappointed. 

A soft voice broke his thoughts, and the creaking of an opening door. Haechan walked in, a small smile on his face until he met eyes with Jungwoo.

"Hey, you look shittier than normal..." he pointed out, still slightly joking, but Jungwoo knew he was mostly serious. He knew something was wrong. He had a look of concern, one Jungwoo wasn't used to seeing on him, and found kind of odd at first glance. He was too tired to be angry at Haechan anymore. It wasn't his fault. 

The small amount of air that managed to come in as Haechan did smelt cleaner, fresher than before, and it relieved the heat that Jungwoo's face had pretty well taken over. He took a deep breath in as he went to speak.

"Taeil and I got in a fight," he answered, trying to keep his hair out of his eyes. It didn't go well.

"Oh shit... I-um... I'm sorry Jungwoo, do you wanna talk about it? Do you need anything?" Haechan questioned. He could tell from Jungwoo's expression that his answer was a no. His mouth felt dry.

"Nah, what is there to say?" Jungwoo pointed out, trying to put together his sentences. He tried his hardest to continue between sobs. "How have you been?" Haechan didn't wanna talk about himself, especially when Jungwoo was so upset, but he knew he wouldn't have asked had he not wanted to know.

"Uh.. I've been training more... Mark's been at my back about it all. And Doyoung too, but I know they mean no harm. I wish I could've gotten it before. I mean, it would've saved me from a lot, ya know? My brother's murder, the parental abuse, but mainly my ex. They've all... uh... done some stuff I don't wanna talk about. I even had a place in the backwoods of my house where I could go, stay there for a week or so while my parents tried to find me but never managed to. I managed to build myself a whole hut out there. An old tarp, some sticks, string, leaves. I even had a couple blankets out there, some granola bars, and a tiny water purification kit in case I got kicked out for longer than the water bottles I'd bring with me lasted. I'm sorry, I'm getting way too ahead of myself. Just, I've been training more," Haechan rambles. Jungwoo originally didn't pay too much attention, but by the end he was listening with full intent.

He didn't know _that_ much about Haechan.

"So not well," Jungwoo assumed, and he was right, but Haechan didn't say anything. He took a small breath in, turning so he was on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around him, starting to softly cry on his shoulder. He had never cried in front of him before, but he didn't care anymore. Haechan was smaller than him, but better built. It took him a moment to reciprocate the hug, but he did eventually, and it was the biggest relief Jungwoo had ever felt. He smelt airy, kind of like the wind and pine trees, and he thought had he not been here, he may have spent a couple nights in that little hut of his he was speaking about. He felt he could probably get high off of it.

"You know Haechan, we can fight back now... right? We have that power. Tell me where, we can make 'em pay," Jungwoo stated. Haechan gave him no response, knowing right now was not the time to deal with that. He wanted to make sure Jungwoo was okay first, before they made any decisions he'd regret.

Haechan carefully lifted Jungwoo off of him, a feat Jungwoo was silently impressed with, and walked into the kitchen. He didn't register how long he had been gone, but it couldn't have been too long, because he returned with two mugs of tea, and placed both on the nightstand before grabbing the remote for the TV.

"Anime?" he asked Jungwoo softly, watching as he moved up so he could lay on a pillow. Haechan followed after him though, sitting beside him with his legs stretched out, and patted his thigh. Jungwoo took it as a silent cue to lay his head there, and when he did, Haechan started to gently play with his hair while looking through a list of anime to find something Jungwoo hadn't watched. Jungwoo doubted he would be able to find something that both of them hadn't seen, but that didn't matter too much because he could only see about halfway through his tears, and he wouldn't remember the show once he calmed down anyway.

It was the effort that mattered most.

Neither of the two spoke as Haechan found a show, turned on the first episode, and took a sip of his tea. He was very quiet about everything, but the show drowned out Jungwoo's whimpers. It wasn't really sobs anymore, and Haechan was thankful for that. He didn't like seeing Jungwoo so hurt.

"Do you need anything?" Haechan asked him softly, looking down at him. Jungwoo just shook his head. It was too hard for him to speak at the moment, and he wasn't about to try. Haechan nodded his head a little, looking back up at the TV. Jungwoo wasn't really watching it, admittedly, but Haechan seemed to be rather into it.

Jungwoo thought he'd seen that one already.


	12. Chapter 12

A couple days had passed. Jungwoo still hadn't spoken to Taeil, and had no plans of doing so yet. Haechan had been around to make sure things were okay, and the two went to visit Lucas, Mark, and Doyoung rather often.

Haechan and Doyoung had grown a liking to each other over the years, like brothers. The two had grown up together for most of their lives, and when they went their separate ways, ended up coming back together again as a part of TN. Doyoung wasn't a very emotional man, but Jungwoo could tell he was glad to have Haechan back.

"I had a weird dream last night," Haechan brought up randomly, sitting on Doyoung's lap beside Jungwoo, the three of them playing video games.

"Yeah? What about?" Doyoung asked him back, his head tilted slightly in concern.

"It wasn't very long, but I was just, like, surrounded with bodies. It was really weird. Lifeless, broken bodies, all faceless except for one, but I couldn't figure out whose face it was. It was familiar though, I feel like I'd seen them before," Haechan explained briefly, but he did look worried by the content.

"I don't doubt it, sounds pretty frightening," Jungwoo commented, and Haechan gave him a couple nods, though not looking at him. Doyoung was winning, and Haechan wasn't about to let that last for long.

After bringing up their thoughts to Doyoung, the three decided to bring things up with Taeyong later in the day, but amidst their anxieties behind it all, they ended up playing video games as a distraction. It was a lot more fun than thinking about anything or anyone else.

But they could only delay the matter for so long.

"You know, guys. This is quite a big thing you guys wanna do," Taeyong pointed out, tapping his temple in tune to a song that must've been only playing in his head. "It'll be one of the biggest runs we've done in a while, and for something so futile as revenge?"

"It's for a brother, we do that kinda shit around here," Jungwoo tried to explain. "People get what they deserve, no?"

"You have a point, but I just want you to acknowledge what you're suggesting and think about it for a moment. Let me see if I'm understanding this right. You wanna target this guy, who made Haechan a victim and scarred him for life... yeah maybe we don't need to think so much about this," Taeyong explained, coming to his own terms with the proposition. No one really seemed opposed to the idea; there's a glint in a couple of the runners' eyes. Johnny, albeit he was drunk again, and Mark, and the eyes of Xiaojun, Ten, and Yuta, who fed off of that kinda stuff. Even Doyoung, who may have been only going along with the plan because it was Haechan, and he loved him.

There was a newfound excitement in the room.

"Well, I see no reason for objection. And you are right, people get what they deserve. I don't think anyone here is able to stand behind what's been done, and I know I can't after what I've learnt. It's been a long time since we've participated in a revenge run," Taeyong states, all official sounding. "We'll do it in three days, strike at night. I'll look into the man and send as much information as I find to Chenle and Jisung. They can work into finding locations."

Taeyong assigned Johnny, Mark, Haechan, Doyoung, Lucas, Yuta, and Jungwoo to the endeavour. It was admittedly a few more people than he thought he'd need there, but he never knew what could be expected.

"Guys, won't this be kinda dangerous?" Haechan brought up, rather softly from his place behind Jungwoo.

"Isn't the point danger?" Johnny asked him back, followed by a bit of a drunk-driven chuckle.

"Hey, you know, if you don't want us to do this, we don't have to, right? It's up to you," Jungwoo says, trying his hardest to reassure Haechan that this decision is his in the end, and no one has to do anything.

"What's going on?" The door opened behind them, and Winwin stood in the doorway. His eyes barely opened, before he turned around and left the room again.

"Clearly someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed... would've been a good time to have the advisor around," Ten muttered under his breath, but they all heard it.

"But no, I wanna do this," Haechan brought the topic back, his voice sounding stronger, but completely forced to sound that way.

Taeyong looked down to a couple of his papers, filling them out with information for Chenle and Jisung as Haechan fed it to him: the location of Seongmin, where he could be if he wasn't there, any security precautions.

"Alright, that should be good enough for now, but you're gonna have to train a little more for this one. Get out there. Yuta, Mark, help them out. This man has the potential to be dangerous."

"Who does?" someone interrupted, walking in rather casually. At first, Jungwoo thought it could've been Winwin, finally returning, but it wasn't. It was Taeil.

"Taeil, it's not the time," Taeyong stated firmly, but Taeil just leaned against the wall. He wasn't moving.

"No, I wanna know. I wanna help," he insisted.

"I mean, if you really want to. But you're gonna see a lot more than you have before. And you're gonna learn a lot of things you don't know yet. If you think you're ready to subject yourself to that, you can come along." Jungwoo turned to meet Taeil's eyes, squinting them as he tried to tell him to stay back.

"I wanna come too," he stated firmly, and Jungwoo let out a long, exasperated sigh. _Another_ _fucking run with Taeil,_ Jungwoo thought, followed by a sigh. He wasn't pleased.

Taeyong filled out one of the last lines on the paper, picked it up with the rest of the papers, and tapped them all against the desk so they evened out. He slipped them into a manila envelope before putting it into the bag he brought with him.

"Get ready. We've got quite a job ahead of us, boys. It's time to take justice into our own hands."


	13. Chapter 13

Johnny reached his hand down, offering it to Jungwoo, and he took it. The jump into the back of the truck became a combined effort, as he pulled him up and found his footing on the flatbed. Johnny didn't always come out with them like he was, but Jungwoo found it kind of comforting to have him there. It made him feel a little more secure to have someone so experienced and mature, at least when he was sober.

Jungwoo's life wouldn't be the same if Johnny hadn't been involved. Taeyong had been the one who brought him up, but Johnny helped a lot more than Jungwoo would have liked to admit. Johnny was the one that made sure Yuta and Ten trained him well, and made sure he was well off. Jungwoo still wasn't the best fighter, but he was good with a handgun. Johnny had changed a lot since Jungwoo first met him, but in some aspects, he was still the man Jungwoo knew and debatably loved when he first met him.

Jungwoo noticed there were maybe three of them crouching, two more sitting down fully, and two in the cab, but his focus didn't stay on that for long before Taeil began speaking to him.

"I bought them a bit ago. Figured you would like them, but never got the chance to give you one." He held out a small handful of individually wrapped pieces of bubblegum. Each one had a little bird on it, and Jungwoo remembered having them as a kid. In the next town over.

He picked one from Taeil's hand, carefully observing the design on it. A crow, he thought it was. It was black, either way. Jungwoo wasn't up on his knowledge of local birds.

He softly thanked Taeil, popped the piece of gum into his mouth, and let the wrapper fly away as they drove. He felt like the lead protagonist in a movie, on the way to do something great for the love interest. Haechan wasn't his love interest, but the feeling still harshly resonated.

The wind around the truck wasn't too bad, as long as they stayed low enough down that the front of the truck took the blow. If they were to stand up while the truck was in full motion, odds are, they'd be on the pavement.

His focus was reverted back to the moment when a blunt object was pressed into his palm. Instinctively, his fingers wrapped around it. It was a handgun. He gave Yuta, who was crouched beside him, a bit of a strange look, and Yuta gave him one back, smirking very slightly.

"Let's go," he whispered, as if Jungwoo had any idea what was going on. Jungwoo just gave him a firm nod, unsure if he was supposed to have this gun. Nonetheless, he held it tightly between his fingers.

Xiaojun always used to tell him to "shoot for the feet and ankles" in a fight. Once they were out of the picture, people can't run, or so that was his logic. Jungwoo found it to be closer to torture, but he wasn't one to know. He was too soft for gunfights.

Frankly, Jungwoo didn't even know if shooting people was a part of the plan for the night. But, he assumed, where justice was to be served, it should be, and tonight, whatever had to be done would be.

He also wasn't too sure why it was necessary for all of them to be in one truck, especially since Doyoung took his own truck, but as they entered the suburb, they all sat down fully on the flatbed. There was no need to draw attention to themselves. That would only ruin plans, even though people probably couldn't see them anyway. It was pretty dark, and there were very few streetlights in the area. It was a dead end street.

Mark started passing out cloth face masks to each of them, to cover their mouths and eyes, and keep them anonymous. Jungwoo hadn't worn a full mask in forever it felt. The act of putting it on felt exhilarating, and the others seemed to agree with him.

"Do you know what the plan is?" Jungwoo asked him as he finished adjusting the material around his eyes.

"Yeah, the objective is to stabilize and contain. Most of the people are here for experience, intimidation, or backup. They won't be doing much else. Lucas is staying back unless or until we need him. Doyoung is staying further back than the rest of us too. Yuta and I will be doing most of the work, then we'll transfer him back in the truck Doyoung drove here. We'll have you and Taeil stay back a little, too, but we'll still need you in there with us. Just not at the same time," he explained, in as much detail as he was able to. "We were gonna involve Haechan in more than just pickup, since this _is_ his revenge, but we didn't wanna throw him in like that. Even though he's been here for a bit now, I don't think he knows what goes on in deeper layers yet." He does his best to keep his voice hushed, but even if he hadn't, he wouldn't have been heard over the others.

Haechan sat in the opposite corner of the flatbed to Jungwoo, where he was curled up with his knees to his chest. Jungwoo made his way over to him.

"You look worried," he observed, resting his head back against the glass window between them and the cab. Haechan shakes his head.

"No, I'm ready," he responded, pulling his mask up. Jungwoo placed a hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eye, hidden partially by a mask too big for his face.

"You don't have to hide so much, Haechan. I know this shit is scary, trust me," Jungwoo did his best to assure him. Haechan shook his head again, standing up as the truck slowed to a halt. He moved toward the edge of the flatbed, where it opens. Nothing conspicuous, just like, fifteen guys getting off of one truck and going into one house. Jungwoo regretted not thinking more into the travel plans behind all of it before it happened.

"I'm not scared, Jungwoo. He's deserved this for a while now. I'm just... nervous to be back. What if I panic?" Haechan responded, the tone of his voice more nervous sounding. Jungwoo laid a harsh pat on his shoulder.

"We've got your back, Channie, don't worry. If we need to get you out of there, we will." The next sound was a banging noise, the door slamming down, and it was go time.

Johnny was the first one down, and he offered a hand to help the rest of the people in the flatbed down, but most of them just leaped out. It seemed cooler. It was more anticlimactic had they not, Jungwoo thought.

But, even though his ankle was mostly healed, he took Johnny's offer and let him help him down. He looked back into the back of the truck. Mark and Doyoung were still on their way down, looking like lions ready to pounce. Well, not Doyoung. Doyoung never looked even a little frightening, even with a mask on. He just looked kinda nerdy to Jungwoo.

As they approached the house, they split up. Doyoung and Lucas stayed in the truck, with the windows down so they could hear anything. Johnny, Haechan and Yuta took up the front, while the remainder of them went around back. Taeyong had had Chenle and Jisung look more into that one than he usually did.

Taeil instantly started to pick the lock on the back door, something he was surprisingly skillful at. It took him maybe twenty seconds to get them in.

The guys in the front were already in when Jungwoo got in with Taeil and Mark. The front door hadn't been locked; it made it super easy for them to get in. They were the ones working everything out. Jungwoo, Taeil, and Mark were there as primary backup and control factors. Yuta made a point to look out the front window, just to make sure no one had shown up in the time it took them to get in. Jungwoo focused his eyes on the floor. It was dirty, but not too dirty, considering it was hardwood. The place smelt like clean clothes and flowers. It was rather pleasant.

But all pleasantries were pulled from his mind when he heard screams. 


	14. Chapter 14

It was a shriek, something Jungwoo had never heard in his life and never wanted to hear again. It was gross-sounding - made him shiver, actually - and he knew that was his cue to get the fuck upstairs.

He made his way to where the noise came from: a dark blue room, faintly lit by a tablet set on the bedside table, and three men trying to take control of one, albeit rather strong-looking and tall, other man as he thrashed around. It wasn't a battle they were about to win as easily as they had expected to.

Sure, there may have been five guys against one, but noise didn't work in their favour at all, especially in a compact suburb like the one they were in. People were able to hear anything and everything they wanted to.

Haechan managed to get a hand over the man's mouth, effectively quieting him a bit.

"Karma's a bitch, isn't it Sweetheart?" Jungwoo could hear him ask, over the ruckus. It was supposed to be a whisper into his ear, but it comes out too rough and too tense. Too angry. Years of pent up rage type of anger. Jungwoo had never expected him to say something like that. It was like he had been waiting for it, waiting for the moment he finally got to strike back. "Did you miss me, Baby?"

That was his freedom.

The five of them managed to get Seongjin down the stairs, his ankles and wrists tied firmly together with an extension cord and a makeshift gag made out of a torn piece of blanket. They had to work with what they had with them. They should've brought more, but it was too late to think about that.

There were already police officers outside.

"Fuck, what now?" Mark asked no one in particular, but in the same sense everyone. There wasn't much time to think.

"YN and ML, get him out the back. Everyone try and get out after them. I want them out first if they have any chance to." Johnny spoke clearly, with authority. Jungwoo respected his control over the situation. No one needed to respond, just move.

And that they tried.

Yuta and Mark did head out first, as instructed, but they were faced with far more than expected. Turned out, cops came pretty quickly in the suburbs. Quicker than they did around most places, that was.

What the fuck were they supposed to do? Jungwoo wasn't about to just give up without putting up a fight, but he wasn't going to be able to walk out to his truck on his own, inconsequentially. He ran his fingers over the cool metal of the gun, tucked tightly into the waistband of his jogging pants.

Was he supposed to shoot?

He didn't have the time to decide that. He was being shot at.

Like clockwork, he pulled the gun from its makeshift holder and shot back, accompanied by the three behind him. They were beyond outnumbered.

Everything happened so fast.

Jungwoo hid behind a car, his only option for hiding while the others made their way back to the truck. Bullets hit the car he was behind, probably piercing through a layer or so of the metal and lodging themselves in the seats.

It was just starting to snow, and Jungwoo's knees were freezing against the wet pavement below them.

He heard a yelp of sorts, another unfamiliar noise, and stood up a bit more to try and figure out what it could have been.

Taeil was on the ground, curled up in pain. A spot of deep red had seeped into the gray material of his jeans, and Jungwoo knew he had gotten hit. He had a feeling he wouldn't be hit again, since he was already down for the count. 

There was no other option but for him to go get him, in case he made any sudden moves and the cops shot again. He'd be down for count then, an easy target.

Jungwoo took the gap in gunfire as his opportunity. He wasn't as physically strong as he could've been, not even slightly, but in that moment nothing seemed to stop his body from moving.

Everyone else was moving with him, back to the trucks. But they weren't about to leave Taeil for dead, or worse, for questioning.

And despite his distaste for the man, Jungwoo wasn't about to leave him behind.

Jungwoo did his best to get Taeil back to the truck, avoiding as many shots fired as he could. He fired maybe two back, before a bullet grazes his shoulder. It didn't lodge there, but there was no way he could carry Taeil any further.

Haechan caught a glimpse of the two, now hidden behind a different car. He thought about heading out that way to get them, but took a bullet himself, and wasn't about to push himself forward with a bullet in his foot.

It was an awful idea, Jungwoo thought as he knelt beside Taeil. It wasn't a decision he would've made had he been thinking logically, but as rounds were fired back and forth, if Taeil was going to die, he figured the best way for him to die was with someone beside him.

He ripped a piece of his sweater sleeve off to the best of his ability and tied it around the wound, tightly, but not tourniquet tight. He didn't wanna make things worse, first aid wasn't his specialty.

Taeil's eyes were glossed over, as if he was fading in and out of consciousness, but they somehow met up with Jungwoo's, and both of them were hit with a wave of pain.

"Hey... Jungwoo?" Taeil managed to speak, not loud enough to be heard over the gunshots, but loud enough for Jungwoo to hear.

"Yeah?" Jungwoo asked him back, hoping for good news, but knowing he wasn't going to get any.

"I'm sorry for everything... and uh... thank you for taking care of me like this... I'll... never forget you..." Each pause in Taeil's words holds a slight hiccup, a small breath. "If I die tonight... know you meant... a lot to me..."

"You're not gonna die, you're gonna be okay. Someone's gonna come help us, YangYang's gonna fix you up," Jungwoo tried to assure him, but he wasn't so sure on his words. He, in reality, had no idea if Taeil would survive the night. He probably would, assuming his leg was the only place wounded, but he wasn't sure of that even.

Taeil shivered in the snow, curled up by the curb of the road. Getting up didn't feel like an option. His clothes were soaked, and he wasn't sure anymore if it was from snow or his own blood. The entire area smelt like chimney smoke.

The wound looked to be maybe a nine, on TN's scale of wounds. A fifteen was the worst. Jungwoo had never seen a fifteen, and didn't think he, or anyone who had a fifteen, would live to see one.

"Go... go Jungwoo... you don't need to die... with me..." Jungwoo knew Taeil was right.

He had to leave Taeil behind and get someone to come back for him. There was nothing he could do but hope.

He made his run for it.

"Where's Taeil, everyone else is back here but him," Johnny asked him, wasting no time in speaking slowly. Jungwoo could do nothing but point in his direction. One of his feet was just slightly visible from the gap under the car he was resting behind.

Everything felt like too much. There were sirens everywhere, neighbours were panicking, everyone was yelling over gunshots. Nothing felt like it was ever going to settle down. 


	15. Chapter 15

Johnny was driving faster than he ever had. Jungwoo was worried they'd crash.

It was just the two of them, and Taeil in the backseat of the cab, passed out, or so they assumed. He didn't say anything for the entire ride back. Thankfully it wasn't that long, but just long enough to get the cops off their trail. Haechan, Doyoung, and Lucas were in the back, in the flatbed. Lucas knew there wasn't too much he could do to take care of any of the wounded with them, but did his best with the things he brought with him to at least deal with Haechan's foot.

The cab smelt awful, even with the windows down fully. Jungwoo had come to terms with the fact that he would never be able to get that metallic, bloody smell from his nose, even if he bleached the entire truck. He was lucky the truck wasn't his. The smell of blood was ever-present.

It just so happened to be forty times worse in that truck.

They had him covered up in both Jungwoo's and Johnny's jackets as blankets, but the two of them were almost sure he was too far gone to shiver.

Lucas wasted no time in getting Taeil to his and YangYang's office, alongside Jungwoo and Haechan.

Jungwoo and Haechan weren't as big of problems, so Lucas dealt with them as he needed to. Haechan first. Jungwoo didn't need as much attention as him, who was hopping around on one foot for his own sake. Jungwoo had did his best to help him limp around with an arm around his shoulder, but with his own bullet-grazed shoulder, he knew he wasn't much help. 

There was an awkwardness that seemed to spread across the entire complex from that day forward. No one was really too sure what to say to each other. Of the ones that knew what happened, no one spoke about it.

Jungwoo didn't want to leave his room.

Jungwoo wasn't hungry.

Jungwoo wasn't tired.

Jungwoo didn't want to see anyone.

Jungwoo didn't want to talk.

He just wanted to sit, and stare at walls until he forgot everything that happened that night.

Nothing was going to scar him like seeing Taeil practically plead for his life did. Like kneeling over his almost lifeless body.

He wasn't sure almost lifeless was the right set of words, but he stuck to them because that's all he had.

He hadn't heard anything on his condition, even two days after what happened. He hadn't ran into Lucas or YangYang when he did choose to leave his room. He actually, didn't run into anyone. The cavern had been desolate.

Haechan, on the other hand, began to take things as if they were his fault. He figured, of course, that had he not said anything, none of it would've happened. It was his final decision, and he let it happen. He almost killed so many people. 

He distanced himself from everyone too. He figured the blood was on his hands.

But he was also grateful. The man he had been so traumatized by was finally getting what he deserved, and Haechan was able to have live updates if he wanted them, though he wasn't sure that was the most ethical opportunity.

But when he learnt that after two days, Seongjin was still alive, he started to get abnormally fed up with the situation. He wanted him gone. TN was his home, and with Seongjin around, it didn't _feel_ like home anymore.

So, he did just what he figured he needed to.

He rolled himself into the interrogation room on his own.

"What's takin' you so long?" Haechan asked Xiaojun, the only one in the room at the time. It was dark, but Haechan knew it was him, not Ten. If it was Ten, he wouldn't be there at that time. Ten would've already sealed the deal. Xiaojun gave him an odd look at first, probably caught off guard by the wheelchair. After being shot in the foot, Haechan wasn't about to attempt crutches yet.

"Can't do it," Xiaojun pointed out. Haechan knew that was how Xiaojun worked. He didn't get why he was an Aetos with that kind of attitude. You should at least be able to deliver a final blow, Haechan thought, even if you have to turn your face from it.

He rolled his way over to one of the cupboards.

"Key?" The cupboards were always locked, for Ten and Xiaojun's safety. If anyone was to break free, they didn't want to risk anyone getting access to weapons they weren't supposed to have. There were so many chemicals in there, ones that could wipe out the entire complex if they were used wrong.

Xiaojun took the key out of his pocket and tossed it Haechan's way. Haechan didn't catch it. Xiaojun walked over and picked the key up for him.

"This isn't like you, Haechan," Seongjin spoke up, surprisingly awake despite what the two others in the room had thought. What nerve he had to talk back. Haechan hadn't heard that voice in a long time, and he wasn't excited to be hearing it then.

"You don't know anything about me," Haechan responded, running his index finger along the top edge of a knife. He did so delicately, precisely.

"You know Haechan, he is kinda right... this isn't like you," Xiaojun agreed. Xiaojun wasn't worried about calling him by his name. Seongjin knew it good. Haechan paused a moment, looking over the blade of the knife as he slowly turned it.

"You have no idea what this man has done to me, XJ. He has caused me a life of trauma, a life of fear. I no longer know love because of this man. There is no reputable apology for his actions."

"Haechan," Xiaojun started again, figuring Haechan was in some sort of delusion. He was concerned for him, he'd never acted like that before.

"This is my freedom, XJ. Can I at least live that through?" Xiaojun, after thinking for a moment, gave Haechan a nod. Haechan grinned, a sickly, bright, ruthless grin.

He placed the knife on his lap, rolling over to what could only be described as his prey. Seongjin was no longer the predator there. It was Haechan now.

Seongjin knew what he had done.

Haechan cocked his head slightly to his right. The way the moonlight from one of the skylights caught Seongjin's disheveled hair was almost enamouring. Haechan was glad such a handsome man was going out in what he assumed was beauty.

It was a shame someone so handsome was such a nasty a person inside.

"I know I've done some shitty things, and I've been cruel to you in the past, but you know, Haechan, there's no way you won't suffer for what you're about to do." Haechan found it pitiful that Seongjin wasn't trying to plead for his life. But it also snapped him back to reality for a second.

He thought for a moment. Memories flooded back to him: initially good ones, but the good ones always replaced the bad ones. And the bad ones were indescribable.

Xiaojun stood beside him.

"I can get Ten to do this if it's too much for-" he tried to assure him, but Haechan didn't bother letting him finish. He didn't even turn to speak to him. Xiaojun wasn't a factor at the time. It was only Seongjin and Haechan.

"You know, Seongjin? I don't care anymore."

Haechan watched with shaking hands as the fruits of his efforts slumped downward in its restraints.

It wasn't human anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

It was another two days before Jungwoo finally got the motivation to try and see Taeil.

The clinical setting of Yangyang's office made him feel even sicker than before as he walked in. It felt so empty, so desolate. The smell of rubber and antiseptic and what may have been blood but could have also been metal filled the room. There was soft music playing from a small radio set on Yangyang's main desk. It didn't set the mood well.

He was sure there was no blood anywhere, he was just permanently cursed with it after being in a car with the smell for more than two minutes.

"Jungwoo, how are you?" Lucas asked, catching him off guard. He was caught off guard by anything and everything by then.

"Shit... I uh... I guess I'm fine," he blatantly lied. Lucas didn't ask into it. He knew he shouldn't. It wasn't his business right now. He reached up to the back of his neck, scratching it a bit as he looked down at his shoes.

"I take it you're here for Taeil," he asked. Jungwoo nodded, expecting the worst from how Lucas was acting.

Lucas stepped forward, carefully wrapping his arms around Jungwoo's waist and pulling him into a loose hug. "He's okay, Jungwoo. Don't worry about him too much."

"Then why are you consoling me like he's not, dork?" Jungwoo asked him in response, and Lucas instantly pulled away. The hug hadn't been reciprocated like he hoped it would be. His cheeks were dusted a light pink, and he just hoped to god that Jungwoo didn't notice.

"I don't know, you just... looked like you needed a hug..." he replied, this time scratching his collarbone. "He's three rooms down." Jungwoo managed to give him a small smile, a genuine one. Lucas was kinda cute all shy like that.

"Thank you Lucas. I meant to tell you that sooner." Lucas' cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink, nearing red and he smiled back.

"It's the least I can do, Woo," Lucas told him, and Jungwoo walked off before he could say much more.

Yangyang was just finishing up changing bandages when Jungwoo walked in.

"Good afternoon Jungwoo, a pleasure to see you're doing okay," he said, rather softly as he stepped back. The soft rumble of thunder followed his words. It was raining pretty hard outside. Jungwoo could tell through the window, left very slightly open.

"It's good to see you too Yangyang, how's he doing?" Jungwoo asked, a little happier to know things were okay.

"He got lucky. Bullet just barely missed a major artery. Probably would've died had it hit it. If not, he would've most certainly lost his leg," Yangyang started to explain. "I did manage to get the bullet out though. I don't usually like to unless it's in an easy place or inconvenient, but I've had to a couple times. Sometimes it's just too dangerous to leave in, ya know? I wouldn't want to take any risks of it knicking the artery. Either way, he should be awake soon. He slept pretty rough last night though. He should be able to leave in a couple days or so." Jungwoo nodded in agreement, and took a seat in the empty chair beside his hospital bed.

Yangyang made his way out. Jungwoo could hear him and Lucas talking to each other in the lobby of the office.

"I've missed you..." Jungwoo mumbled softly, knowing Taeil wouldn't hear him. He wasn't about to wake him though, he just sat and waited until he woke up on his own.

He decided then, he was willing to wait a lifetime.

About an hour later, Taeil slightly shifted in his bed, his eyes slowly opening to the bright light of the room.

"Oh... hi Jungwoo," he started, followed by a soft chuckle. "It's nice to see you." Jungwoo wasted no time before he could get up from his seat and hug Taeil. The act was awkward, considering Taeil was still in bed, but Jungwoo made it work. Taeil was initially a little caught off guard, but reciprocated the hug to the best of his ability soon after.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he said, speaking soft enough for only Taeil and himself to hear. Jungwoo didn't have to see Taeil to know he was smiling. It was evident as he spoke.

"I'm surprised you came to visit me... you know, after everything. But I'm glad you did." Jungwoo pulled away from the hug.

"You apologized," he reminded him.

"I did? I don't remember. But since I don't remember, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight and-" Jungwoo interrupted him before he could say anything else.

"It's okay. I'm over it now. I mean, it may have taken you almost dying for me to realize that, but I'm over it." That one got a bit of a laugh out of Taeil. "Yangyang said you're gonna be out soon? Is there anything you need?"

"Yeah, he told me too," Taeil responded. "And no, I don't think there's anything I need that I can't just have Yangyang or Lucas grab for me around here... Actually, you know what I could really go for right now?"

"What could you really go for right now?" Jungwoo mocked, laughing a little. Taeil tilted his head up a little, as if he was pretending to be in thought.

"A slushie."


	17. Chapter 17

Jungwoo got both himself and Taeil slushies, and chocolate bars. They spent the entire night together, Jungwoo falling asleep with his head on the railing of Taeil's bed at about three in the morning when they were both so tired they couldn't stop laughing.

It had been the best night Jungwoo had had in a long time. Maybe ever, and that meant a lot, considering they spent it in a hospital.

They talked about pretty well everything, long into the hours after Yangyang had crashed on the couch in the waiting room. They talked about the run, how they wondered what happened to Seongjin, how Jungwoo wanted to go swimming sometime, and how when Taeil and Haechan were in the bathroom during their spin the bottle game, Haechan moaned his name. That last part didn't hit Jungwoo until the next morning.

Why did Haechan moan his name, and not Taeil's? Jungwoo found that not only really disrespectful, but also really weird. He had never messed around with Haechan, hadn't even thought about it and didn't plan on thinking about it.

And more importantly than that somehow, Haechan was able to top Taeil?

As odd as it all was, he tried his best to forget it.

He had planned on going to see Haechan that day, but with that sudden knowledge, he had to either face it as it happened or ignore it and pretend he knew no better. He wasn't going to make things awkward, cause he knew they wouldn't be if he didn't make them.

Or he at least assumed they wouldn't be.

When Jungwoo showed up, Haechan looked happy to see him. It was the first time in a little bit, and he had missed the less crazy side of life. He made Jungwoo and himself some tea, and the two resumed watching the anime they were watching the last time they were together, Jungwoo's head on Haechan's shoulder as he played with his hair.

"Jungwoo, I have something to tell you." Jungwoo knew that was going to be the time Haechan would confess. Inconvenient as ever, considering he would've had much better chances had he done so maybe four days earlier, when he was still angry with Taeil. His chances would've been better.

"Yeah, what is it?" Jungwoo replied, trying to make it sound like he didn't know what was about to come out of Haechan's mouth.

"You can't judge me for this okay?" Haechan asked him back, for his own reassurance. He didn't want Jungwoo to think he was crazy or something.

"Of course I won't judge you, I promise, Channie. Just tell me." Jungwoo did his little 'feigning innocence' thing, where he tilted his head slightly and opened his eyes a little more to show his interest was peaked, even when it wasn't. It worked on most people, and Haechan was no exception.

Haechan took maybe a minute to gather his thoughts into words.

"Jungwoo... I killed a man." Well, that caught Jungwoo off guard.

"You did what?"

"I killed a man. I killed Seongjin, out of pure, cold-blooded rage. Xiaojun couldn't do it and Ten wasn't around and it didn't feel like home here anymore so I took a knife and I did it myself," Haechan rambled, and rambled on more than that, but Jungwoo didn't register much more of it. 

All of a sudden, Haechan's expression went flat. He looked a little frightened before, but not anymore. He had no expression at all, like his mind had went blank, like something took it over again.

"And I think I wanna do it again."

Jungwoo had no idea what to say.

"As long as you don't plan on killing me or anyone here without a good reason, I can't judge you. But if you really wanted to, you could talk to Taeyong about joining the Aetos guys. I'm sure they wouldn't mind an extra set of hands," he tried to respond, being as supportive as he could be to a friend with murderous tendencies. After all, being on the bad side of a murderer is not a good place to be. Haechan shook his head.

"No, I don't think you understand. I watched him die. And I felt no shame at all. As a matter of fact, I almost felt... happy."


	18. Chapter 18

Jungwoo pushed every memory of that day, after he left Taeil, as far to the back of his mind as he could. He had other things to deal with, and those things involved a fancy gala.

It had been a while since Jungwoo had went to a gala. Usually, he went with Taeyong, but it felt new and exciting to be going with Jaehyun. Him and Jaehyun didn't get to spend too much time around each other, so Jungwoo was eager to spend the night with him and maybe get to know him better.

And even more eager to see handsome men in formal wear.

He may have been top-leaning, but everyone had a soft spot for an attractive man in a suit. At least, he did.

He liked dressing up for the occasion too. There weren't many times he was able to wear suits around the complex, unless he was going to corporate buildings, so it felt like a good change of pace.

And he liked seeing Jaehyun dressed up even more.

The two took a taxi to the event's venue, where Jaehyun opened the door for Jungwoo, like a stereotypical man in the movies would. Jungwoo gave him a smile, and thanked him with a slight bow.

The venue was huge. Jungwoo figured it was about the size of what his high school prom venue would've been, had he gone to it. The idea of prom was not one Jungwoo liked, even in high school.

There were probably two hundred people there, all dressed in varying colours of suit and tie. There had to have been more than one sector of the police force there.

Jungwoo had no idea where they were supposed to be sitting, but Jaehyun didn't let him ponder over it too much before he grabbed his hand and led him off to a table in the far left corner. There were three unoccupied seats of the nine set there.

"Ah, Jaehyun! It's a pleasure seeing you here tonight," one of the men started upon seeing the two of them taking their seats. Jaehyun smiled at the man, before lightly shaking his suit jacket down to take it off carefully.

"As is it seeing you here as well, Chief," he responded, draping the jacket over the back of the chair before taking a seat. The three men at the table were all there with their wives, who didn't speak much to their husbands or to Jaehyun and Jungwoo. The men just spoke to the other men, and the women to each other.

"And who is this young man? I haven't seen him on the force just yet, is he new?"

"Oh, no. My apologies, this is Jungwoo. He's my husband," Jaehyun explained briefly. Jungwoo gave the man his signature sweet, gentle smile, though he didn't feel the most comfortable around the police.

"Ah! Well it's a pleasure to meet you then, Jungwoo. I'm Choi Ilbeom, the Chief of Police. You must know your husband is a very prized addition to the force?" the man replied, now speaking more in Jungwoo's direction.

"I did not know that, but I'm sure he is glad to hear you say that, Sir." Ilbeom nodded a couple times, before taking a sip of his drink. It looked like it may have been scotch.

"It's a shame we didn't catch those guys a couple nights ago," one of the other men started, and Jaehyun nodded in fake agreement. Jungwoo's attention was brought to the bandage on his shoulder, safely hidden under multiple layers of clothes. He wasn't even sure Jaehyun knew about what happened that night, but he had to have heard. It had been almost a week, and they were still the talk of the complex.

"We'll catch them. Surely we'll catch them," Jaehyun assured them. "Did they ever find that man? Seongjin?" He was fantastic at pretending he didn't know what was going on. Almost too good.

"No, never. The news doesn't seem to have much hope in us finding him alive, I've seen," Ilbeom commented. "But I believe we'll find him." The group took the Chief's optimism and left it to that as they began to speak among each other.

"So, is he the top or the bottom in the relationship?" the man sitting beside Jaehyun asked him, resting a hand on his shoulder. Jaehyun hit it away.

"That's not a very appropriate question for you to ask, thank you. It's a breech of privacy. Does your wife dominate you, Hyunsoo?" he responded, sharply. Just as the man was about to retaliate, Jaehyun spoke again. "Now you understand what it's like to be asked that question." It shut the man up.

"Do you want a drink? I'm gonna go grab a couple appetizers," Jungwoo asked Jaehyun, trying to just step away from the conversation.

"Yeah, actually. If you don't mind. A Manhattan?" Jungwoo gave him a nod, rising to his feet with Jaehyun's hand still in his. He didn't know they were still together like that. Jaehyun smiled up at him, bringing the back of his hand up to kiss it. Jungwoo gave him his best smile back. He wanted to go home and cuddle with Taeil. Being surrounded by that many cops was overwhelming, and not in a good way.

"Keep an eye on my drink, yeah?"

Being around Jaehyun and his co-workers was proving to be a little too much.

Jungwoo walked up to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools next to a burly, older man with dark hair and a beard. He looked old enough to have been an alumni member of the force.

But then he caught a glimpse of the man behind the bar: sleek, tall, well-dressed and handsome enough to be a model. The man did his job effortlessly, shaking and pouring out drink after drink.

He really was something else. But Jungwoo wasn't about to hit on the bartender when he was there with someone who was his play-pretend boyfriend.

"A manhattan and a mojito please." Jungwoo rested his arm on the small area of tabletop in front of him, observing the man's movements. Each one seemed carefully articulated, like it had been preplanned weeks in advance. He pushed his sleeves up before he started on Jungwoo's drink of the two. Jungwoo had to do almost everything he could to prevent himself from drooling.

He really was a sucker for handsome men.

He returned shortly after with the two drinks in hand, and a small platter of appetizers. Jaehyun looked a little confused.

"You got yourself another drink?" he started. Jungwoo had picked one up on the way in. "You haven't finished the one you had before, did you forget about it?"

"Yeah, I know, but it's all melted now. And I was always taught to get a new drink if I was going to leave mine unattended anyway. I'd rather be safe than sorry, you know?" Jungwoo explained, with every reason to have done so. Jaehyun sighed, but nodded.

"You're right, Love. I didn't think about it that way. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."


	19. Chapter 19

Despite having to interact with a couple hundred cops, the gala went surprisingly well. But Jungwoo was extremely glad to return home once he had.

It was late, maybe midnight or one o'clock in the morning. He had wished he was back in Taeil's hospital room, sleeping on the armrest of his chair. It may not have been comfortable, but it was worth it. He liked sleeping with people. It made him feel safe.

It took him a while to fall asleep that night. He wasn't sure exactly why. Maybe it was because the place felt too quiet, maybe it was because the cavern was completely empty when he went through it, anything was possible. But something for some reason felt off.

He woke up the next morning to the sound of thunder. It was storming again. He wished it would just get cold enough to snow again. At least the snow didn't come with thunder.

He barely had enough time to pull himself out of bed before he was greeted by a knock on his door. Shirtless, and practically nude beyond that minus his boxers, he decided to answer the door anyway. If someone wanted to show up this early, they could deal with it, Jungwoo thought.

He was happy to see Taeil, sitting in a wheelchair, smiling brightly up at him.

"Good morning," Taeil started, not really hiding his eyes as he let them roam. Jungwoo rolled his eyes in response.

"Eyes up here, Mr.," he joked, before stepping aside.

"Did I wake you? Sure looks like I did considering you don't have clothes on," Taeil joked back, keeping the same energy up.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm getting there. And no, you didn't wake me. I just didn't have enough time to get out bed between the time I woke up and you showed up." Jungwoo walked back into his room, grabbing a pair of jeans from his dresser. Taeil wheeled in a bit behind him.

"Well, since you're getting dressed anyway, I thought that maybe since I'm finally out and movin', we could maybe go get some coffee or something?" Taeil suggested, just as Jungwoo was about to grab a shirt. He paused his actions though to process the request.

"Like a date?"

"Yeah, why not?" Jungwoo thought about it for a couple seconds more.

"Yeah. Why not," he responded, smiling a little. Taeil was smiling too.

"Then let's go!" Taeil shouted, his excitement practically beaming from his smile. Jungwoo tilted his head a little.

"Taeil, sweetheart. I don't know if you've realized just yet, but I happen to be shirtless still," he pointed out, which made both of them laugh a little. It had to have been the most wholesome moment Jungwoo had ever had as a part of TN. It was priceless.

"Then hurry up! We have the whole day ahead of us!" Taeil's excitement was cute, so Jungwoo knew he would have to do as he was told.

The two of them took a taxi to a nearby cafe. It was small, in the basement of another business that sold locally made products and fresh fruit. Jungwoo bought Taeil a couple oranges, since he wanted them.

The cafe itself was adorable. Jungwoo had never been there, but he really liked it. It was dimly lit by little string lights in the shape of light bulbs, with instrumental Christmas music playing. College students were scattered table to table catching up on their schoolwork and studying for exams. Jungwoo was happy he opted out of college.

Jungwoo got a chai latte, and Taeil got a black coffee. Taeil insisted upon paying, since after all, it _was_ his idea.

The two sat at a small table Taeil was able to roll up to. The room was cool, but not cold enough to make anyone shiver. Jungwoo's cardigan was enough to keep him warm.

In that moment, he felt there was nothing wrong with the world. No one felt like they were bad, nothing felt more important than the moment they were in. Taeyong didn't come to mind, Haechan didn't come to mind, Lucas didn't come to mind. It was just him and Taeil, and despite their past, it made Jungwoo incredibly happy.

They didn't say much, just sat over coffee and tea like they had known each other for years. Like nothing either of them had ever done was wrong.

Like time had stopped.

"You don't even understand how tired my arms are from using this stupid thing. And it's only my first day with it," Taeil abruptly brought up. Jungwoo chuckled a little at him as he took a sip of his drink, now partially cold.

"I can push you around, ya know. That 'thing' you're talking about has handles just for that reason! I know, it's revolutionary." Taeil rolled his eyes, but he wasn't about to deny Jungwoo's suggestion. Any help he could get in that moment, he would accept.

The two of them walked back to the complex, Jungwoo pushing Taeil along, all the while Taeil held an umbrella over the two of their heads. Jungwoo wasn't really covered, but he wasn't going to say anything. Taeil was covered, and that's all that mattered. 


	20. Chapter 20

Haechan woke up in a dark room, or at least he thought he did. It smelt familiar to him in a way he wasn't able to describe. He couldn't see anything, and when he tried to raise his arm to support himself in moving, either out of what he assumed was a chair, or at least onto the floor, his hands didn't budge.

Haechan knew that feeling somehow. _Zipties_. That wasn't going to come off easy.

He tried to move his legs, to no success either, and as a matter of fact, extreme pain. He had forgotten for a moment that he had gotten shot just a couple days prior. But his other leg hurt too for some reason. He couldn't remember why.

It wasn't easy for him to remember anything, wherever it was. It was like his memory had been wiped somehow, without him ever knowing it was coming.

"Hello?" he asked, not expecting anyone to answer. He heard a slick sort of noise, like that of sharp metal on wood.

"Ah, glad to see you're finally awake. You took that shit good, huh?"

"What?"

"You know why you're here."

"I-don't even know where here is?"

"We don't need your sass, Haechan. We both know what you've done. You could've cost us valuable lives. I hope you didn't need me to tell you that."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Haechan had gotten used to dismissing questions, especially with official sounding voices. The voice he was speaking to didn't sound very official, but he figured he should be careful either way.

The voice was actually kind of smooth sounding. Haechan had thought he'd heard it before, somewhere.

"I think you do, but that's neither here nor there right now. We'l figure all of that out later, once you're under a little more pressure to speak, I'm sure, right? Now drink," he was told. Haechan tried to reach out, assuming he'd be given a glass or a bottle of something, but again, his hands didn't budge.

"I'm not thirsty," he responded.

"I said. Drink," the voice insisted.

"I'm not thirsty," Haechan repeated, thinking maybe the person he was speaking to didn't hear him the first time.

"I don't give a fuck. I said drink, you're gonna do it."

"I'm not thirsty!" Haechan wasn't sure how many times he'd have to say that.

"You're fucking lucky I'm treating you as good as I am right now. You'll surely be able to walk if you make it out, I could easily prevent that. I could be starving you instead but I'm keeping you alive and sheltered and warm. That's what you wanted when you came here, no? Some shelter and a sense of safety?" The voice paused for a moment, before he heard a glass fall to the ground, and presumably shatter. "Fuck. Don't make this harder than it needs to be, alright? We both know I have ways of making you drink that you're not going to enjoy, so consider this me taking it a little easy on you. Take my pity while you have it, Bitch. Now drink."

Haechan did as told.

It was water. At least, he hoped it was just water. It tasted no different. Ice cold, surprisingly.

"I heard about what happened when you were younger. Some pretty boy with half a brain thought you might be a good fuck, and took his chance while he had it, huh? Whatcha do to bring that on? Wear something a little too pretty that night?" Haechan wasn't sure how to respond to that. His mind had just all of a sudden gone blank. He forgot about Seongjin after he killed him. It was good riddance until that moment. The room was quiet.

Haechan still wasn't fully sure where he was, but he thought he was still in TN. It smelled about the same, if he knew that smell. But why would he have been kidnapped in a place where he lived? What could he have done to be kidnapped and held hostage in his own home? Was that even something that happened to people?

"What do you think poor little Jungwoo would do if he was here? Would you rather him be in your place? You know we have just as easy an access to him as we had to you, but I think you also know he wouldn't be able to fight very well, would he?" the voice brought up, rather quietly, as Haechan's vision was restored. He must've had a blindfold over his eyes. He knew exactly where he was then. The bloodstains on the floor, the cupboards.

Kun and Xiaojun.

"No... no please I'd take this for him any day... please don't hurt him... if you're gonna hurt anyone hurt me, please..." Haechan knew how dangerous Xiaojun could be. He may never deliver a final blow, but if he accidentally killed you through every other ruthless act he had stored in the files of his brain, no one in TN would be surprised.

"We won't hurt him, if you're compliant that is. Speaking of him, I'm sure you'd love to hear all the shit he's into, huh? Since I know you wanna fuck him just as much as the rest of us do. You'd get off to hearing that, I'm sure.... That little bitch, ah, he never really was what I wanted, but boys like you tend to be the ones taking out the trash around here, so figures you'd be all over his dick," Kun started to explain. He was nowhere near done, but chose to let Haechan speak first.

"You're just... you're just jealous..."

"Pah! Jealous? My ass am I jealous. That fucker couldn't make me feel good if he had to. Such a little pillow prince, isn't he? Does he make a good bottom for you? Always on his knees ready to take anyone like the fucking slut he is, and you'd join him in a heartbeat." Haechan was effectively speechless.

"Ah, he loved when I'd call him names. My whore, my princess.... Would want me to beat his ass over and over again until he was all bruised up... liked when I bit him... liked risking a little and doing shit in public... always wanted to be tied up, which is a little ironic considering how you are right now, huh? Always wanted to call be daddy or master or some shit like that, admittedly, that was pretty hot though," Kun continued. Haechan was noticeably uncomfortable, physically and mentally.

"Will you shut up about how many times you've fucked Jungwoo?" someone asked, from beyond the wall between them and a short corridor that led to the cavern. Jaemin peered in. Haechan figured he wasn't supposed to have shown up.

His vision started to spin a little, or maybe it had been the whole time. He hadn't paid enough attention to his surroundings to have noticed if they were spinning or not.

"You're betraying me... this isn't how family works..."

"Ah-ah-ah, that's where you seem to have things wrong. You betrayed us, this is merely revenge. People get what they deserve around here, no?" Haechan cursed him internally for twisting words he hadn't even known Jungwoo said, but he also probably overheard them.

"Xiaojun, cut those restraints for a couple minutes. If he loses feeling, we're gonna have to bring him to YangYang, and he won't wanna deal with an amputation. It's not like he can go anywhere anyway," Jaemin demanded. It was bold of him to have such an attitude with someone like Xiaojun, especially considering his seniority over an Amarantus like him. Jaemin wasn't one to fuck around though.

It was only then Haechan realized why it hurt so much to move his legs. Minus the fact that the borderline gunshot wound on the side of his leg was uncovered and untended to, his other leg was covered in bruises.

Not very dark, but surprisingly methodically placed.

He had no idea how to even move anymore.


	21. Chapter 21

Chenle paced around the door. Should he go in? He had to go in. He just had to. What kind of person would he be if he didn't? He knew he wouldn't be able to bear the guilt.

But he hadn't spoken to anyone in so long. It had probably been years. He only spoke to Jisung, and originally, that was because he had to. After all that his childhood managed to bring him, he didn't trust anyone besides Taeyong, and even that managed to fade. Taeyong almost fathered him for a bit. Chenle showed up, almost physically in pieces, on TN's doorstep when he was only thirteen. Taeyong was hesitant to let him in, as was Johnny, but they knew what needed to be done, and they knew he wasn't going to be able to go home.

His agoraphobia had gotten so incredibly bad over the years that Jisung even did the shopping for the two of them. If there was ever anything Chenle needed, or frankly didn't even need, Jisung was on it. There were a couple nights at the beginning of their residency in TN, when he'd go out and steal a couple packages of instant ramen for the two to have for dinner, even when Chenle had claimed to not be hungry. Chenle was silently grateful for his first meals in probably weeks.

Jisung, though a year younger, did all the talking. Chenle stayed back and worked at his computer in relative silence. They shared a place just off complex, where Chenle had to make sure the front door was locked four to five times, depending on how the day went as a whole, and the back door twice. His bedroom had a deadbolt on it.

Chenle knew what really happened the moment he got word of it. He had done the calculations before. Cops, no matter how close they were to the area, could not have arrived moments after they would have been called. It just was not possible.

He had pages and pages of receipts: text logs, emails, detailed police documents that described in-depth plans for sabotage and destruction of innocent, or close enough to innocent lives.

Jaemin had successfully convinced Xiaojun to cut the ties on Haechan's wrists. It took him a good five or ten minutes of arguing, but he did it.

And despite Haechan not being able to stand, and thus on the floor due to the lack of stability, he did appreciate being able to move. He got to sit in the corner while Kun, Jaemin, and Xiaojun spoke amongst themselves as to what to do next. He didn't hear much of what they said. He didn't hear much of _anything_ over the ringing in his ears. Haechan was used to Xiaojun playing music boxes, but he realized then that most of the people he tried to intimidate in that way probably couldn't hear them over the same type of ringing. 

He had no idea how long he had been in there for.

Xiaojun was able to bide as much time as he needed to then, there was no chance of immediate danger unless he decided for it to be imposed on him.

Haechan was immobile. Too broken in the legs to stand and too weak in the wrists to drag himself anywhere.

Which was absolutely perfect for everyone in the room but him.

It gave Xiaojun and Kun more time to strategize and plan, Ten time to arrive and finish the job off cleanly for the two of them, and Jaemin more time to think.

And Chenle more time to pace. He had been pacing for maybe twenty-five minutes by then, so much that the shaking of his legs had managed to wear off and transfer to his hands. He was sure had he had to turn the doorknob at that moment, his shaking might break it off entirely. He felt absolutely sick, from head to toe like he could throw up in that very moment.

He wanted to cry, but he knew he couldn't.

"What-why is the floor wet?" Kun asked in Jaemin's direction, looking over at a slick sort of glint of something on the floor. Jaemin stood next to Haechan with a water bottle, his water bottle, as he was instructed to do. He was a good listener, but an even better manipulator. He knew just how to do things right, but make those right things work to his or others advantages.

"Sorry, I spilled some of the water on him. You know I'm clumsy," Jaemin responded, before Haechan was able to, and he felt a wave of relief run through his entire body. Jaemin seemed to be on his side.

"Jesus fuck, Jaemin. Be careful. Now we've gotta change him somehow."

"I mean, you don't have to," Jaemin stated, but Haechan picked up that Jaemin was only putting that out because he had to. Or at least he hoped that was the case. 

"Jaemin, he'll freeze. We have to change him," Xiaojun butted in. The prospect of clean clothes felt like heaven to Haechan.

But before any other talk of it began, a slam of a door against a wall broke their attention to a new possibility: someone had found them.

Though, if the cops managed to trace Seongjin down to there, they wouldn't find him. But they'd surely find their killer.

They weren't greeted with badges or steel-toed boots or SWAT teams though. They were greeted with tiny, drowned out and exhausted looking Chenle.

"Chenle, what are you doing here?"


	22. Chapter 22

Chenle couldn't speak. It was like he had lost all memory of how to form his words. Any language he had ever spoken felt foreign to him then.

He held up his bag, a ratty, torn-in-places messenger bag that he had since he moved in, and took out a thick file of documents.

"Papers..." he mumbled, the file shaking heavily as he held it in the air.

"Jesus fuck... I've never heard that kid speak..." Xiaojun pointed out, noticeably a bit shocked.

"Chenle you need to go, this isn't the place for you to be," Kun interjected.

"Papers..." Chenle started crying as he slowly, almost meticulously, walked toward Haechan and Jaemin. He avoided each and every crack in the pavement as he walked, as if stepping on one would result in someone's death, if not his own. Kun intercepted him before he could get any closer. Chenle flinched, but didn't move back.

"Chenle, you need to leave," Kun repeated, lifting a hand. He knew his weaknesses. Chenle cowered a little, but he wasn't scared of that anymore. He had been used to being hit. If he got hit, he would fall down, whether or not it hurt. It was the easiest way to de-escalate the situation. He learnt that at far too young an age.

In the boldest, more courageous of movements he had ever done, shook his head. He said no. He had never said no before.

"Papers! For fucks sake take them! I don't give a shit if you want to or not, fucking read them!" Jaemin came over to Chenle, and carefully took the file from him. The two of them didn't touch at all; Jaemin knew that would be a bad idea.

Chenle had never acted like that before, and that frightened him. He sounded like his father. But there was no time to think about that.

"What makes you think we should trust you? Jisung's close to the bitch, who's to say he didn't set you up to this because he thought we'd pity you a little more?" Kun wasn't going to let up. "Your trauma doesn't excuse you from anything, Chenle."

Jaemin brought the file over to Xiaojun, who also initially refused them.

"Why do I have to fucking tell you everything? Can't you read? You want me to talk, fucking fine. I will, since clearly you don't have the time to read anything on your own. Those papers are records, police documents, discussing the plan to take you down, dated days before Haechan's revenge mission. They planned to take lives, all of those who went. Think about that, Xiaojun, Kun: Johnny, Jungwoo, Lucas, Mark, Yuta, Doyoung, Taeil, every fucking person there. A quarter of the force almost. If you think Haechan's the problem, you're a liar, to yourself and to everyone else in this room, and you're beyond disgusting. I won't hesitate to kill you right now, if you don't touch those papers." Chenle pulled a handgun from his bag, aimed directly at Xiaojun's head. Kun's went to Haechan, and Jaemin's went to Kun. It was a standoff. One gunshot would kill three people. 

Haechan knew Kun wouldn't shoot him, it'd go against his orders. Kun was there to interrogate, not kill. He knew he wasn't going to die unless Ten was in the room.

No one knew Chenle could even hold a gun, let alone fire it. Half of the complex didn't know Chenle even existed at that point. 

He shot it up at the ceiling. The bullet bounced back down, landing with a sharp cling noise a couple feet from him.

"I'm not fucking afraid to shoot one of you. You don't scare me like you scare other people. I've seen more fucked up shit than any of you will ever see, and I'm not about to stand here and watch you kill an innocent man framed by the cops. You wanna know what happened? Jaehyun overheard you, ratted you out to the cops, and then tried to drug Jungwoo to cover it up. Jungwoo was smart enough to get a second drink, but clearly, you guys would've just swallowed the pill dry like the fucking puppets you are to your own first instincts. Both of you would."

Chenle was sobbing. His throat hurt, and he could almost feel the world start to spin around him.

He threw up onto the floor, and proceeded to fall down beside it, onto his knees, gun still trained defiantly on Xiaojun's head even though he wasn't looking at him anymore.

"Now put the fucking guns down!" Xiaojun was the first to put his down on the counter, and Kun followed. Jaemin held his up till just before Chenle put his down. Chenle was last.

Xiaojun opened the file and started to look through the pages, while Jaemin grabbed a roll of gauze and rubbing alcohol from one of the cupboards and started to, as carefully as possible, clean up the wounds on Haechan's legs. The rubbing alcohol burned like crazy, and Chenle, now cowering in the corner, sobbed a little louder every time he heard a yelp of sorts from Haechan's direction.

"Do you want some water?" Jaemin asked him, leaving Haechan alone for a couple seconds to comfort Chenle in his corner. Chenle nodded, taking small sips out of the same bottle, only softly mumbling a thank you.


	23. Chapter 23

Christmas was never big deal around TN, but that Christmas marked something huge. The first blood of a former comrade. It wasn't the greatest way to celebrate the holiday, but after the word got to everyone about Jaehyun being behind the police presence and Jungwoo's almost drugging, they knew it had to be done.

Jungwoo was extremely distraught over the situation. How could Jaehyun have done such a thing? He was thankful for that second drink he got, who knew what could've happened had he just kept with the same one back at his table.

He didn't wanna think about it.

He hadn't seen Haechan in a while, which was also kind of odd to him. Sure, he hadn't made any direct efforts to try and talk to him since he admitted to getting pleasure from killing a man, but he had figured Haechan would've been around.

He knew no better.

The rest of the day was surprisingly peaceful, for seemingly everyone around TN. Yuta managed to set up a little Christmas tree in the centre of the cavern where Johnny brought out a couple gifts for each of the Amarantus kids. They even had some Christmas music playing in the background. Despite the serious nature of the complex, they liked to do as much as they could to keep the childhood spirit alive.

Jungwoo was a little older than the rest of the Amarantus', so most of the time, he wasn't given gifts. He used to get them, but he asked Taeyong and Johnny to stop.

"Save that for the younger ones, I don't need a gift," he remembered telling them.

Even though him and Haechan were very close ever since the two arrived, even they didn't engage in gift giving to one another. It was mostly a day for the younger ones, to keep their spirits up and give some of them a chance at the childhoods they were never really given.

Jaemin, Lucas, Mark, Jeno, Renjun, and Doyoung seemed to be rather excited about their gifts. Jisung got Chenle's gifts for him and shoved them into his backpack; he'd bring them to him when he went back home.

Jungwoo didn't usually take part, but he felt like going out there and just watching the kids have their fun. It was about as wholesome as things ever got around there, and he figured after all that had happened, he needed a bit of that wholesomeness in his life.

Haechan was nowhere to be seen, but Jaemin assured Jungwoo that he was okay, just not feeling well, and Jaemin would bring his gifts back to him.

Jungwoo had kinda wanted to go see him, at least wish him a happy holiday, but Jaemin didn't make it seem like he had wanted visitors that Christmas.

It made Jungwoo a little sad. Haechan may have said some odd things, but that didn't distract Jungwoo from all the times he took care of him when he was sick or upset. The two had been so close, it felt wrong not talking to him on such a big holiday. It may not have been too big in TN, but it still felt important.

But despite all he wanted to do, he stayed in and watched the other Amarantus kids get their gifts from his window.

The smile on Renjun's face was too priceless. Jungwoo learnt later that day that was the first Christmas gift Renjun had ever been given. It was a pair of earbuds, but it could've been an onion for all that mattered. He would've been grateful for anything really.

It was the happiest Jungwoo had ever seen him. The brightest smile, the widest eyes. He could get anything he wanted here, but the fact that he was _given_ something seemed to have him over the moon.

He stopped watching shortly after to make something for dinner.

He didn't have a lot left in his fridge. He really needed to get groceries soon. All he had left was just a couple eggs, impractical condiments for when he really decided to commit to cooking something, maybe a quarter of a carton of milk, and two energy drinks that he had probably had for a year or two. They were Haechan's.

Eggs it was.

While the eggs started to cook in their pan, he made himself some tea. A hot chai tea would be a good way to celebrate, alone another Christmas. Or so he thought he would be, before he got a knock on his door.

"Hey," a shy, blushed-cheeked Lucas started as he opened the door. Jungwoo looked over at him, and smiled. He was in his pajamas still, with a Santa hat haphazardly on his head, almost falling off. It was kinda cute.

"Merry Christmas," Jungwoo said to him, pouring some water into a mug. "Would you like some tea?" Lucas gave him a soft smile back, but shook his head.

"No, I'm okay. I won't be here for too long. I just had a delivery for you," he announced, holding out a couple small, wrapped packages.

"Lucas! Who got me a gift? The people around here know not to get me gifts anymore, this is the kids' holiday!" Lucas just shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not sure, but there's actually two," he started, looking around the box. "No tag on either of them. All I know is they were for you. That's what Taeyong told me at least." Jungwoo walked over to him, holding out the cup of tea he made.

"Stay, please. I could use the company." Lucas just couldn't deny that request. In exchange for the mug, Jungwoo took the two gifts that were supposedly for him. He carefully looked them both over. They were wrapped in different papers, so they had to have been from two different people.

"Which should I open first?" he asked, sitting down beside Lucas on his bed. He had completely forgotten about his eggs, now getting cold on their plate.

"That one." Lucas pointed to the thinner box. Jungwoo smiled softly, taking the second cup of tea he made from where he left it, on the floor by his feet and taking a sip. It was still too hot to drink fully.

Jungwoo carefully peeled the paper off, revealing a red, shiny box with a lid on it. He slowly took the lid off.

Inside was a single, beautiful new crest.

Jungwoo was chosen to be an Ari.

He already had Johnny's jacket with his Ari patch, but having his own felt even more important. He didn't even know what his role was going to be, but he was excited to have it.

Along with the patch came a small, handwritten note: 

_welcome to the ari's kiddo._

_we needed someone like you._

_\- taeyong_

Lucas didn't seem as excited about the second gift.

Jungwoo unwrapped it just as carefully. The box was the same in style to the first, but more oblong in length.

Inside, carefully wrapped in pink tissue paper, was a necklace with a small butterfly locket on it. It was breathtaking.

"This is so pretty..." Jungwoo mumbled, trying his hardest to do up the tiny clasp behind his neck. Lucas jumped to helping him. It made the job a lot easier when someone could see what was going on. He seemed a little off-put still though.

"Yeah..."

"What? Don't you like it?"

"No no no, I do it's just..." Lucas paused for a couple moments, averting his eyes from anywhere near Jungwoo.

"That one's from me."


	24. Chapter 24

Jungwoo and Lucas hung out that night till far later than they should. He was glad to have his company, even if they were only talking about medial things. He decided that night he'd wear that necklace everywhere.

That was the last good day Jungwoo remembered.

He learnt a lot of things very quickly within the following couple days. Many, many things. Some of which he wanted to know, others he never had needed to.

He went to talk to Haechan a couple times. The light was on in his place - he could see it faintly through the closed curtain - so he figured he had to have been home.

But he never answered the door. He kept it locked.

Eventually, Jungwoo just decided to give up because it was the best option. Haechan clearly didn't want to speak to him, and that was something he would have to come to accept.

But it hurt him. A lot.

Haechan _didn't_ want to talk to him, Jungwoo was right. Frankly, he didn't want to talk to anyone, but especially not him. He just didn't want to tell him all that happened. He knew it would be more trouble than he needed, and he didn't want to get him too involved in something so trivial sounding.

In the meantime, he managed to take up a place as a third kidnapper, alongside both Jaemin and Ten. Thankfully, Xiaojun had been discharged due to his behavior. If he was still there, Haechan wouldn't be taking part in anything involving him.

Killing people wasn't a big deal to him anymore. If someone would ask him how he felt about it, it wasn't a matter of happy or sad. He simply felt nothing. He was empty, some would say soulless, others would say sociopathic. Haechan called it coping.

If he could feel nothing, he could never be hurt again.

But, there was one thing he still couldn't forget. Even when he felt not a single emotion, laying there on his bed, he would think of Jungwoo. It wasn't ever a pleasant thought, he could acknowledge that just as well as anyone else could have. The thoughts were impure, gross, horrid, and he knew he could never act on them for the sake of someone who was once so close to him.

But he also knew he wanted to.

He had a strange set of feelings for Jungwoo, had them for a while, but by then, they were almost concerning. He wanted to hurt him, somehow, but also wanted him to like it. 

Jungwoo tried not to let not talking to Haechan bother him too much.

Taeil was getting better, and that made him happy. He was on crutches and able to move himself around easier. Jungwoo put a couple socks on the top of each of the crutches to they wouldn't hurt under his arms, but he tried his hardest to just do as much for Taeil as he could. He didn't want him to overwork himself too much.

Taeil did ask him where he got the necklace, and Jungwoo was honest about it. He had no reason to lie, if Taeil was to have gotten jealous, that would've been his problem. The two of them weren't together, just like Jungwoo and Lucas weren't together.

"Do you want me to iron this patch onto something for you?" Taeil asked him, looking over the crest admirably. He never expected to see an Amarantus who was also an Ari, but Jungwoo was technically out of typical age range to be an Amarantus anyway.

Jungwoo was proud to be the first, even though he still didn't know what his job was yet.

"Yeah, actually. I didn't even think about that really. I don't have an iron around here. I'm sure I could ask Taeyong or Johnny, but if you're offering, I'll let you," he replied. He walked over to the coat rack by his door, looking through the four or five jackets of his, and grabbed a black one. He had got in eleventh grade, from a close friend of his at the time. The two of them used to share jackets all the time. The one he had was technically his friend's. He wondered if maybe he would be proud of how far he had come, or maybe disappointed.

Probably disappointed.

He set the jacket onto the floor by the door, next to his shoes, and walked back over to Taeil, who was laying down on the bed. He sat down beside him, his back to him.

"Are we together?" he asked abruptly, not looking back at him as he spoke.

"I don't know... do you wanna be?" Taeil asked him back. Jungwoo leaned back a bit on his hands as he thought about it. Would that be something he would be able to handle? Would Taeil be able to handle the nature of his real job? Would he get jealous? Jungwoo didn't want to cause too much trouble.

Taeil was a temporary source of peace, but would he get too attached to him? The same rule still applied to everyone, not just friends and family. What if Taeil died? Jungwoo knew he wouldn't be able to cope with that any better than he would anyone else. 

"Jungwoo?" Taeil brought him back to the moment again. His hand was on top of his, gently, in a way that felt reassuring. Jungwoo blurted out the first answer that came to mind.

"Yeah... I think so." He still wasn't looking at Taeil. He didn't want to. One of them would just get shy, Jungwoo was sure of it. So instead, he laid down beside him, never meeting eyes with him, and carefully laid his head on Taeil's shoulder. His heart was racing, but Jungwoo knew that surely his own was as well.

"Then that's how we'll be, Baby," Taeil responded, and Jungwoo smiled a bit, genuinely for the first time in a while. He was thankful Taeil couldn't see him. He kissed the top of Jungwoo's head.

All that mattered was that they were comfortable. That was all Jungwoo could ever ask for in that moment.


	25. Chapter 25

The glow of the morning sun was the only good thing that came the next day. Waking up next to Taeil was something that felt so incredibly right to Jungwoo. He wished he'd never have to leave that bed again.

He rolled over and wrapped his arms around Taeil's waist, pulling himself close to him. Taeil smiled a little in his sleep, letting out a breath as he closed his eyes again. Jungwoo kissed his cheek, and Taeil turned his head a little, lazily rolling onto his back and reaching his hand up to rest it on Jungwoo's neck for a kiss. Jungwoo wasn't expecting it, but he wasn't going to complain about it either.

"I hate to leave you in bed like this, Angel, especially when it's so cold in here and cuddling is warm, but I've gotta go talk to Taeyong. I'll be back shortly, I hope," he told him, giving him another quick peck on the cheek. "Go back to sleep." Jungwoo forced himself out of bed, deciding to wear the same t-shirt and jogging pants he wore to bed to go see Taeyong. He figured he'd just be going back to bed after, so there was no need to get formally dressed to only change back. He wasn't going too far anyway.

Taeyong seemed to have everything set and planned somehow.

"It shouldn't be too hard. Just seduce him, bring him back to your room, and do the deed. You're the only one around here that he trusts enough." Taeyong acted liked this was something that would be easy for Jungwoo. Killing Haechan was such an abrupt request of him, and for what reason? Sure, Jungwoo had dealt blood before - it was a part of his job - but it had been a very long time since he had to.

Yuta stood in on the discussion, observing it as well, from a glance. He knew everything that happened, and had briefed Jungwoo on as much of it as he was able to.

"I'm not exactly sure what he's capable of, and you know I'm not the strongest. And why does he have to die? Can't we just kick him out or get him therapy or something? I still don't know what he's done wrong," Jungwoo replied, trying his best to explain his thoughts on the situation. His hands were sweating. He knew already to some extent what Haechan was capable of, but not fully. Taeyong stood up from his seat and leaned against the side of his desk, casually tilting his head to the side a little. The topic didn't seem to phase him whatsoever.

"You don't know the full story, Jungwoo. You just know the lead-up to it all. Haechan is unstoppable, a danger to not only us, but society. We already have the police on our asses because of Jaehyun, and word comes out that Haechan has somehow managed to kill 29 people in the past four days - ya know, I don't even know how he managed to do that. That's so many people," Taeyong explained. Jungwoo was shocked. How could Haechan have gone from a goofy little drug dealer and his best friend who watched anime with him played with his hair when he was upset to a mass serial killer with no motive for his actions? "I can keep someone nearby if you'd like. Yuta would probably work... oh uh... maybe not... Maybe Mark is a better bet." Jungwoo stopped for a moment to try and think. Haechan wouldn't be the kind of person to kill so many people, but yet again, what if he was? He did mention that one time that killing Seongjin had made him happy, was it possible he was looking for that again?

"You know, an eye for an eye makes everyone blind, Taeyong."

"Yeah, and I can't see out of one of mine anyway, so what does it really matter to me?" Yuta bounced back in, trying to lighten the mood, but the air was still too thick-feeling to breathe in.

Jungwoo wasn't even sure how to really do his job anymore, it had been so long. All he knew is he always felt bad after doing it, and the debriefing often times fell on Haechan, because he could always make him laugh or calm him down some. But how was Haechan supposed to be the debriefing factor if he was dead? "There's not a better way of doing things, sadly."

"There's not?" Jungwoo posed, realizing that he hadn't spoken to Haechan for almost a week. He never answered the door, even when Jungwoo could hear the TV on or the shower running.

He didn't know the extent of everything, but he knew what had to be done. Even if the two were close, there was no reason that that should justify hundreds of other people dying at his hands. "Please Jungwoo, just try. For us. If it doesn't go well, there will be people around to make sure you're safe. Your code word is calendar." Jungwoo sighed a little, loosening his shirt a bit.

"Okay..." Yuta stretched his arms into the air.

"Ya know, I think I could do it, I've got one good eye," he pointed out. Jungwoo actually managed a bit of a chuckle as Taeyong stood up a little more to speak.

"Yuta, as much as I love having you around, I'd like two seeing eyes on Jungwoo's life, please. I love the man, and as much as I love you, Mark would be a better decision."


	26. Chapter 26

Jungwoo wished that when he went back home, Taeil would be there to make everything feel okay again. But he knew that wouldn't be the case.

When he returned from Taeyong's office, he _was_ there, and he got to hold him in his arms, carefully, as if for some reason he may never get to again. He knew he'd be able to later, but not without the blood of his best friend of his hands. 

Jungwoo told him nothing, because he knew he couldn't bear that responsibility on himself out loud. Maybe, he figured, if he just never said anything, nothing would happen. 

They didn't say much at all, just sat there, cuddled, and ate microwave popcorn for breakfast. The popcorn was cold by the time Jungwoo had gotten to it.

Though Jungwoo was soon met with the cold sting of metal in his palm again. It was the same as last time, dry, smooth, yet he took note of it again. He hadn't held a gun this small in a while, and the last time he did, he hoped would have been exactly that, the last. He figured that thought was unrealistic.

He stored the gun safely, wrapped in a cloth in the top drawer of his bedside table, before stepping out of his room. 

Jungwoo knocked once on Haechan's door. The light was on again; he had to be home. He knocked again, and again, before Haechan finally opened the door. He looked like he had been getting ready to go somewhere: gloves on, a leather, or probably pleather jacket almost fully zipped up, and a bag over his right shoulder.

"What are you here for." The question was inherently that, a question, but it didn't come out as one.

"I just wanted to hang out with you is all. I've been trying to for the past couple days but every time I come around, you must be out. We can head back to my place, watch some anime, like we usually do when we need a break from shit," Jungwoo told him, trying to give Haechan a bit of a smile. Haechan's expression didn't change as he leaned against the doorframe.

"I'm busy," he replied flatly.

"Please Haechan, it's been a while. I didn't even get to see you to wish you a happy holiday a couple days ago," Jungwoo started to plead. Haechan's expression still stayed stagnant.

"You don't care about Christmas, don't lie to me, Jungwoo," he pointed out. He was right, Jungwoo didn't care about Christmas, but the fact that Haechan wasn't even around to talk to on a holiday, made him a little sad.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I miss you Channie." Haechan sighed, his face finally softening into the slightest smile.

"Fine, fine, but not for long, okay? I've got things to do today," he gave in, and Jungwoo smiled bigger. Still faked it, but Jungwoo was good at faking smiles. He didn't wanna know what those 'things' could have been.

The two walked back to Jungwoo's place, where they both sat down on his bed, backs resting against the wall.

"What should we watch?" Jungwoo asked. Haechan shrugged his shoulders, like he usually would in response to such a question.

"I don't know, you choose." Haechan always let Jungwoo choose, or at least he always tried to. Jungwoo didn't want to argue, he just put on his favourite anime. He knew it was one of Haechan's favourites as well. He wanted to make this as easy for the two of them as he was able to.

The two watched, Jungwoo's head on Haechan's shoulder, for maybe twenty minutes before Jungwoo abruptly turned so he straddled Haechan's waist. At first, Haechan was a little caught off guard, but he wasn't going to question having a pretty boy on his lap like he had.

Jungwoo was uncomfortable, but he was used to being uncomfortable like that. He was also fantastic at hiding it.

Jungwoo made the first move to kiss him. It felt wrong, deep down. Jungwoo had never viewed Haechan as more than a close friend, but sometimes, that was just how things went.

Haechan's hands went to Jungwoo's waist, naturally as ever, and it was then Jungwoo put the pieces together. The reason his movements were so natural was because Haechan had wanted that. He wanted to have Jungwoo on top of him like this, and he probably did for longer than Jungwoo assumed he had.

Haechan smirked a little.

"What's all this about, Woo? You okay? You don't usually act like this."

"Want it," Jungwoo whined, knowing just how to manipulate his voice to make it sound desperate. Haechan tilted his head a little.

"Is that so?" he asked. Jungwoo could see the excitement in his eyes and he wanted to leave. He didn't like that look. He wanted to call for Mark, or Yuta, or Taeil or frankly anyone to get him out of this situation.

But he also had a job to do, and it was the least he could do to do that job.


	27. Chapter 27

Things progressed faster than Jungwoo had hoped they would.

Haechan paused for a moment to reach over to the drawer of the bedside table, assuming he was going to top. Jungwoo wasn't much of a bottom, but Haechan was too far gone into a headspace to discuss anything about that.

Jungwoo had completely disconnected from his body. His lips couldn't move to speak, nothing. He knew he wasn't going to be able to do it. He knew what Haechan was about to find, and it wasn't what either of them wanted him to in the moment. But there was no way of stopping it. He simply couldn't bring himself to move.

Haechan's hand fumbled through the drawer of the bedside table for a moment, before it found a condom, but also something wrapped up in a thin cloth of sorts. He picked it up, bringing it closer to his view and slowly uncovering it. Jungwoo feared he had known what it was before he even touched it. He should've grabbed a condom for him.

He was so, incredibly stupid.

Haechan carefully spun the gun around between his hands, meticulously, as if he intended upon being threatening with it. Jungwoo wasn't exactly threatened by guns being aimed at him. By that time, he was used to it. But he had this smile on his face, something so twisted, so sick, so sadistic.

"You... you little bitch... you were gonna kill me, weren't you? Well too bad! Looks like you aren't so good at hiding your little toys, huh? I would've thought you were smarter than this..." he started. Jungwoo still couldn't form his words. At that point, he was too far gone, paralyzed. It had never went this badly before.

He felt like maybe he was standing by the door right now, and his body wasn't his. Maybe he was a spectator of all of this, but he knew that wasn't really the case. 

He wished Mark would come in, maybe overhear the conversation and come in without a safe word. He thought about Mark for a couple minutes while Haechan rambled on nonsensically, occasionally pointing the gun at him, then back at himself, as if inspecting it.

His thoughts drifted to Johnny, his brother by that point, and how he would miss him.

Then his thoughts moved to Taeil, and to a life he realized he would never get to live with him anymore. He thought of a family: maybe they'd get out of TN somehow, maybe they'd get married, maybe they'd adopt a cat or a snake or a child, maybe they'd just live on their own out in the hills with a little garden where Taeil could grow orange trees and blueberry bushes. Jungwoo longed for that life he knew he wasn't going to get. He prayed to a god he didn't even believe in that Taeil would find someone new to live it all out with.

He didn't have much more time to think about any of it, before all of his thoughts were brought back to his body with a bang.

The guns recoil hit hard in Haechan's shoulder.

Jungwoo wasn't able to put together what happened at first. His vision had begun to blur a bit, and at first, Haechan looked sympathetic, but Jungwoo really couldn't properly perceive the situation. He felt none of it, no pain after the first moment, just the slumped nature of his body as he felt he was slowly pulled from his own skin.

It almost felt like it had all been an accident, that he was sitting there with a bullet in his stomach by pure accident. Had Haechan wanted him dead, he'd have went to other places. Maybe his finger had slipped. Jungwoo didn't have time to think about it, before he thought of Taeil again. Jungwoo took his moments to long for the life he knew he was then losing. He prayed again for Taeil to find someone to live it all out with, and whispered a soft goodbye to him.

"No... no no no no no!" Haechan screamed, shaking Jungwoo's now limp body. He was gone. Haechan had no idea he was capable for having feelings for anyone anymore, and he just managed to kill the only person who proved him wrong. With Jungwoo dead, he had no more chances at love.

And he knew, Jungwoo was dead.

Mark knew it too, standing outside the room. He knew he was too late, and he knew he would most likely get seriously punished for it. Taeyong and Johnny would be devastated to know what happened.

But Haechan was so far gone. There was so little he could do. If he went to leave, he would surely be faced with someone who heard the gunshot and then he would really be dead. He narrowly escaped it the first time, and he knew there were no second chances.

So, he did what he knew he could do best, and all of the unfinished business was completed. 


End file.
